All My Days
by ivorykeys09
Summary: Dan/Blair. Future-fic. Dan left NYC three years ago after a night that broke his heart. Now he's back...and facing the one person who broke it.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello! So a few days ago, a lovely reader of mine sent me a message telling me she had this fic idea...and was wondering if I could write it. I was hesitant at first, but the plot was way too amazing to pass up! SO...this story idea comes from my new friend A :) Thank you girl! She deserves credit for it. I've actually mapped out the entire thing (a first for me!) and I can't wait to write it all. Song title comes from the wonderful Alexi Murdoch song.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

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_**2015, Santa Monica**_

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_I'm really gonna miss this place,_ Dan thinks as he walks down the wood-planked pier. The air smells sweet and tangy—a tasty mixture of sea salt and cotton candy.

When he'd first arrived here, he was overwhelmed with the sounds. Yes, he was used to the loud, boisterous, never-ending music that New York City sang. But on _this_ coast...it was different. The crashing of waves, the happy screams of children, the squeaky seagull calls. He'd grown to love it in time, though. The tumbling of waves soon traipsed into a calming sound, the children's giggling shrieks made his heart warm, and the seagulls reminded him that he was near the ocean, far from home.

The latter being the most important part.

Leaning against the wood railing, he looks down at the beach below. A teenage couple is making out on a surfboard, sprawled across its flowery design. _Ah, to be young again_, Dan smirks, looking away from the teens. His eyes catch a baby toddling along the sand in a floppy, sun-shielding hat. With each step she takes he thinks she's going to fall down—as does the mother, who's trailing close behind—but she makes it safely to her father. As Dan starts to walk further down the pier he hears the applause and praises from the proud parents. He missed that milestone with Milo.

Even with the large crowds at the amusement park and restaurants, the pier has become one of his favorite places to come too. He tries to convince himself that it's because of the delicious fair treats and impossible-to-win (but addicting) carnival games, but deep down he knows the real answer: it reminds him of being lost in the throngs of people at home. Ironically, he still finds comfort in being Lonely Boy again.

He lives a few blocks from here; he'd somehow scored an apartment just steps from the Santa Monica Promenade. Between his trust fund and the money he'd made from his two novels, he wasn't scrounging for pennies in the slightest. But he'd prided himself on living a simple, non-extravagant life in California, and his little apartment was perfect for him. Besides, if he hadn't moved to that building he would have never met Adelaide, and he can't even begin to think about the "what ifs" on that topic.

Adelaide. He smiles just thinking about her.

His phone makes a sound, alerting him of an email, and snaps him out of his thoughts. He reaches in his pocket to read it and sees it's from his new boss. He still can't quite believe he took the job. He'd thought he'd be here forever.

He's been here three years—three long years. Three of the hardest years of his life. After "the incident," he'd immediately taken up Alessandra's offer of a book tour for _Monarch in Manhattan. _He'd needed to get away—and _fast—_and traveling the country seemed like the perfect plan. Santa Monica had been the very last stop on the tour. He didn't know what it was about the place: the warm weather, the friendly people, the slow way of life.

The fact that no one here knew what had happened.

Whatever it was, it reeled him in. Three hours before his flight back to New York, he'd transferred to UCLA for his senior year, and he's been out west ever since.

Now he's headed home—tomorrow. A job opportunity had presented itself out of the blue, and no matter how many cons he'd written on his pro/con list, it was simply too good to pass up. It's career changing...he has to do it.

_Right? _

He hasn't been home in three years. Hasn't been home for the holidays. (His family flew here.) Hasn't been home for Nate and Serena's wedding. (They eloped.)

But most of all: hasn't been home to face the one person who broke him. The one person who both possessed his heart and shattered it into a million pieces.

Blair.

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_**tbc.**_

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><p><strong>AN: Interested? :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

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><p><em><strong>2015, Santa Monica<strong>_

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"Are you _sure_ you have to go?" comes Adelaide's voice from the next room. "I mean...there's _got_ to be better jobs in LA. We have tons of magazines here too!"

Laughing, Dan shakes his head. "Adelaide, for the last time...yes. I _have_ to go. I told you I'd come visit."

Walking into the next room, he audibly sighs at the scene. "Really Addie? You're gonna do this to me twenty minutes before I have to leave?"

She's unpacked his carry-on suitcase _and_ briefcase and has scattered everything across the floor. Jutting her bottom lip out, she gives a pathetic pout that makes him automatically forgive her. "Promise?"

He wraps her in a hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She smells like sunshine and SPF and honey, and it makes tears prickle in his eyes. "I promise."

"I'm gonna miss you so much," she whispers, hugging him more tightly.

He breathes her in once more. "Me too."

After another few minutes of embracing in silence, they part to re-pack his bags. Her, grudgingly; him, willingly. Once they finish, Dan takes one last walk through the apartment, before throwing his bags in the backseat of her convertible VW Bug. He's always hated it. It's bright pink and obnoxious and he feels absolutely ridiculous riding in it as a passenger, but it's so Addie he decides not to chide her about it today. He has thirty more minutes to soak her up and he doesn't want to waste it on silly arguments.

They make it to the airport more quickly than they'd like, and before they know it, it's time to say goodbye.

Tears fall down her cheeks as she hugs him one last time.

"Love you, Addie."

"Love you too."

She wipes away her tears. "Call me when you land?"

"Of course," he promises, backing away from her slowly. "Bye Ad." He takes one last look at the auburn-haired girl and then makes his way into the airport.

He tries to ignore the pain that throbs through his chest.

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**_2015, New York City_**

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"Blythe!"

A stab of fear runs through Blair's body at the voice, and she rushes into her boss's office in five seconds flat.

"It's actually...Blair," she corrects feebly, instantly regretting it. Her boss's eyes burn with anger. Surrounding her is yards of fabric, giant photograph options, and five terrified columnists.

If Blair weren't so scared, she'd laugh—leave it to her to live out the movie _The Devil Wears Prada._ The only differences being she's the assistant to the Editor-in-Chief at _Elle_, not _Vogue,_ her boss is thirty years younger than Meryl Streep's Miranda Priestly, and unlike the movie's heroine, she has impeccable fashion sense.

Oh, and she doesn't have the bitchy Emily by her side. Thankfully.

"Well, _Blair,_" her boss says, enunciating her name coldly, "why isn't Michael Kors on the phone? I asked you to have him on the line ten minutes ago."

Actually...she didn't. But with Tabitha Hutton, that's no excuse.

"Of course. I'll have him on in sixty seconds," Blair promises, backing out of the massive office.

"Make it thirty!"

"Right away!" Blair calls back, already dialing the memorized number. "Hello, Natalie? I have Tabitha on for Michael. Thanks." Pressing line one, she finally allows herself to breathe.

Honestly, Tabitha isn't all that bad. And this job _really_ is the chance of a lifetime. (And most days, she _loves_ it.) Tabitha was in her exact position five years ago and is now the magazine's youngest editor-in-chief in history. If she works her ass off, that could be her in a few years.

Feeling a headache coming on, Blair circles her temples with her fingers and groans. Last time she eyed the clock, it was 5:16. The day was almost over, thankfully; fourteen more minutes.

"G'day!"

The moment Blair looks up, she's immediately greeted by a camera flash.

"Must you?" she bites out, glaring. "It's not the time, Greer."

"Sorry! It's been a slow day. My baby needs to take a pic of _someone,_" she says, plopping down on the spare chair and setting her camera on Blair's desk. "Bad day? How's the Cat?"

"Oh, you know..." Blair smirks, trailing off. "A million phone calls, errands, and a backorder on one of the most coveted fabrics of the season. Nothing too bad." She gives a wry smile, feeling better now that her friend is here. "So it's been a slow day for you?"

"Yeah. A photoshoot was cancelled last minute."

Blair's eyes widen. "_Cancelled?_ That hardly ever happens." She watches Greer shrug. "How much money does it cost us? And oh my god does the Cat know—"

"_You."_ At her voice, they both sit up straight, a shrill running down their bodies; both are wondering how much she'd heard. "You're from the photo department, right?"

Greer gives a slight, but firm, nod. "Yes, ma'm."

Tabitha makes a put-off face. "I'm only three years older than you. I may be your boss, but I'm too young to be called m'am."

"Yes, m—Tabitha. I'm a photo editor."

"Can you please explain to me why the photoshoot with Remy Calloway was cancelled this afternoon?" She continues before Greer can speak. "And why I'm being notified _now?_ After five hours?"

"Oh, she showed up completely off her face."

Tabitha and Blair flash her an equally confused look.

"Right. American English," she says, laughing to herself. "She was totally wasted; showed up drunk." As Tabitha buries her face in her hands, Greer adds, "We tried to sober her up, but she was too far gone."

Their boss just nods and leaves them alone again. Thirty seconds later they hear her yelling into the phone.

"I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that call."

Blair can't help but laugh. "Neither would I."

"Gosh, that was a close one though, right? I nearly thought I'd be fired."

Blair frowns. "Let's not think of that, shall we? As long as you're here, I'm here. And vice versa."

And it's true. If it weren't for Greer, Blair probably would've quit on week two. But Greer made her promise that as long as she stayed, Blair stayed. _We'll suffer together_, is actually what she'd said. _Beauty is pain, right?_

Blair wasn't sure what had drawn her to the Aussie girl, but she's pretty sure it's because she immediately reminded her of Serena. She's like Serena in the way that she seems too bright for New York. She looks like summer—literally looks like summer—with dirty blonde hair that tumbles into beach waves, a slender body that makes every girl envious over, and a face that looks just as pretty with makeup as without.

Their personalities, though, are totally different, which makes Serena very happy. She'd teased Blair in the beginning about replacing her both emotionally _and_ physically—in every sense of the word—but after spending time with Greer, she realized they were actually nothing alike. Greer's humor was sharp and witty, her style was much more preppy, and her Australian accent just put them on two different planes.

She works in the photography department at _Elle_; which means she both shoots on-location and edits photos for layout. _Elle's_ photographers are notoriously known for having poor fashion sense—it's the reason they're _behind_ the camera, as opposed to in front of it—but since that doesn't apply to Greer, every once in a while they let her help style the models. (On the days she enters Blair's office smiling and singing in her horribly off-key voice, Blair knows it's one of those days.)

But when it comes down to it, Greer is just a happy person. She makes days with the Cat—Greer changed it from Tabitha to Tabby Cat to just Cat—bearable.

(They use it as a codeword, just in case.)

Three years ago, when Blair had suffered through her darkest days ever, and Serena was still mad at her for everything that had happened, Greer was there to pick her up. And three years later, they were still as close as ever.

"What are you up to later? How's the fella?" Greer asks, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs. Every time she comes in here, it takes a total of thirty seconds to make herself at home.

Blair's phone buzzes. "Whit's taking me out to some restaurant," she says distractedly, checking the fifteen emails that have come in all at once. She wrinkles her nose at the messages and her friend. "And the way you say that makes him sound like my boyfriend."

Greer throws her head back in laughter. "Why is that so bad? You two _are_ exclusive, aren't you? I mean, you've been going out for, what, five months?"

Blair sighs and begins to pack up her desk. "Yeah...almost six."

"Babe," Greer says, putting her hand over Blair's to stop her for a moment, "he's your boyfriend."

At that, Blair wants to cry.

Instead, she lifts her chin up. "Whatever. I don't want to talk about him."

"Fiiiine," Greer says, standing and picking up her camera. "Can I take you out for a drink before you have to meet him?"

Pulling her purse strap over her shoulder, Blair thinks for a moment. "After the day I've had, and the night I'm _about_ to have, I would love a drink." She walks into Tabitha's doorway and knocks lightly on the glass panel. "I'll see you in the morning Tabitha. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call."

"Thanks, Blair. Have a good night."

_See,_ Blair thinks, smiling. _She _can_ be sweet._

"Ready?"

"More than," Blair replies, switching off her desk light. "You're buying."

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Nibbling on the peanuts at the table, Blair looks at her watch once more. He's twenty minutes late, which means she's already finished the drink Greer bought her before she left. She's a little tipsy.

She feels a hand on her shoulder. "Sorry I'm late, hun. My meeting ran over."

_Hun?_ Blair fights a grimace.

He kisses her lips softly, before she responds, "It's okay. I know you're a busy guy." He just gives her a wink.

He _is_ a busy guy; she knows that. Whittaker DuPont is from one of the most prominent and affluent families in the country. (One of the first things Whit had told her was that his family was responsible for the idea of the Louisiana purchase.) They date back to the 1700s, and over time their wealth has grown exponentially. He works out of the New York office of the DuPont company and is quickly making his way up the corporate latter.

He's smart, incredibly successful, and a complete bore.

To her, at least. Her mother was smitten with him, and Serena thought he was nice, but Blair wasn't very...sold.

In the middle of her senior year at Columbia, when she'd landed an internship at _Elle_, she'd sworn off all men and buried herself in work. It had paid off; the day of her graduation, she was offered a position at the magazine, and since then has worked to where she is now. It was only when she became satisfied with her career did she step back and start looking for someone again. She was perfectly fine with being single for a few years, but one day she came home from work and felt...lonely. It had been a month after Serena and Nate had eloped, and watching her friends fawn all over each other shifted something inside her.

She missed coming home to someone. She missed having someone in her bed, someone to help make dinner, someone to hold hands with, someone to kiss and love.

When she first met Whit, he was a total gentleman. She was immediately attracted to his looks: blonde hair, piercing green eyes, and a very put-together appearance. He had a cute sense of humor, a winning smile, and she admired the fact that he was close to his family.

But six months later, she's still waiting for that jittery feeling inside her. Their relationship is still new and exciting—they should want to spend all hours together, unable to keep their hands off of each other. As she watches him order a beer and pay attention to the basketball game instead of start a conversation with _her_, she realizes she's never felt fireworks with him. She's never felt the same spark she felt with...

Well, it's been a few years since she's had that feeling.

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_**February 2012, NYC**_

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_It felt like a million fireworks were going off inside her body. As they sat at the dinner table at Per Se, Dan's eyes hadn't wandered from her. It was their official second date, and she could barely sit still. Neither could he._

_Everything about her was sexy. From the way her throat worked when she swallowed a sip of water, to the way her tongue wet her lips after taking a bite of her salmon. He had to clench his fork more tightly to keep his hand from slipping below the table and wandering up her thigh._

_He, on the other hand, looked devilishly handsome. Her hands itched to touch his sexy writer's scruff and fresh haircut. _

_Their conversation was full of what it always was: interesting topics and banter. Except this time, Dan added in flirty, sly remarks, while Blair teased him right back. _

_Dan wanted her and he wanted her _now.

_The waiter approached their table and held up a menu. "Would you two like any dessert this evening? We have some delicious selections tonight." She smiled. "Or should I just bring your check?"_

_Looking at Dan, Blair flipped her hair behind her shoulder with a sultry flick of her fingers, and rested her chin in her hand. The movement made her shirt lower and Dan's mouth went dry at the sight of her skin. He was so turned on he could barely see straight._

_He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on Blair. "I think we're going to skip dessert tonight. The check will be just fine."_

_It seemed like ages by the time the waiter had returned his credit card. Grabbing her hand, he led her out of the restaurant as quickly as possible and into the dark alley behind the restaurant. _

_If it was any other time, Blair would've complained about the area and told him to hold off until they got home. But tonight...she needed him just has bad as he needed her._

_Gently pushing her against the brick wall, he finally let his hands slide under her dress and up her thigh. She moaned into his mouth when he brushed his fingers along the already-wet scrap of fabric between her legs and she let out a breathy whimper when he pulled it down. "Dan" she breathed out, hastily unbuttoning his pants before taking him in her hand. His breath hitched when she slipped on a condom and they both moaned again when he slowly entered her._

_The fireworks didn't seem to end with him. As he moved in and out of her, kissing her everywhere from her lips to her throat, he continually ignited her system. Her noises of arousal did nothing but increase his desire for her, and after one last thrust, they both came together. She continued to pant his name as she came down from her high, in between messy kisses and touches. She couldn't remember a time when she was this satisfied, and it thrilled her to think that she'd feel like this forever._

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"Blair!"

"What?" she asks, snapping back into the present and to Whit.

"I said your name, like...twice."

She touches her damp forehead with a shaky hand; her heart racing heavily. "Sorry...I'm actually not feeling too well. Do you mind if we do dinner another night? Work seems to be wearing me down."

He looks concerned. "Are you sure? Want me to go with you and make some dinner?"

"No, no," she says quickly. "I'll be fine. Thanks for offering though." She leans over and kisses his cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow.

"Okay," he replies, his eyes already back on the game.

The ache she feels gets heavier and heavier with each minute that goes by. Sure, she's thought of Dan often, but some moments catch her off guard so completely, she isn't prepared for it. That memory was so clear, it felt like yesterday.

Once she closes and locks her front door, she finally allows herself to cry. Not only cry from his absence, but cry for the mistake she can't take back.

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_**tbc**_

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and alerted :) **

**How'd you like this chapter? Blair may seem a little different, but keep in mind she's a few years older and a bit more mature. Bitchy and feisty Blair is still there, though...don't worry :)**

** I always love reviews!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who is reading & reviewing :) I'm so happy there's interest in this story! Just an FYI...there's a **_**tiny **_**time jump in this chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

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"And here...is your office."

"Wow," Dan says, unable to stop his reaction from slipping out. "What a view."

And it is: they're up on the 35th floor of the Condé Nast building, and Dan's new corner office boasts an awe-inspiring view of both the Hudson and Central Park. The room is big enough for a large desk, expansive floor-to-ceiling windows, bookshelves, and an area with a table and chairs.

"Do you think it'll be okay?" his boss asks from the doorway.

Dan huffs out a laugh. "Yes, this will be more than okay." Walking over to the man, Dan puts out his hand for a shake. "Thanks so much again, Dave. I won't let you down."

Dave smiles. "We're excited you're here with us. Why don't you get yourself settled and unpack your things. We have a staff meeting in about an hour."

"Great. See you then."

Once Dave is back down the hall and in his own office, Dan shuts the door and looks at his own again. He can't help the grin that spreads across his face.

He's been here thirty-three minutes and this job is already worth leaving California. He's now the new Senior Fiction Editor at _The New Yorker_, where he'll get to write pieces for the magazine, as well as edit and select contributions from other writers. He'll actually be the _boss_ to some people. He'll finally get to have a _say_ in what gets printed in each issue.

After snapping a picture of the view, he sends the photo to Adelaide, settles down at his desk, and looks at the room from his spot.

The bookshelf against the left wall looks like his own personal Apple store. He's been given an iPhone, an iPad, and a Macbook for work, in addition to the Mac desktop on his desk. Even though he already owns them all—and feels ridiculous being excited about owning a second of each— he still is. There's also a few _New Yorker_ pens and notebooks on the upper shelf.

There's a piece of paper next to the keyboard that gives login information and instructions on how to change his passwords; next to it is a booklet filled with company policies and emergency evacuation procedures that he brushes aside.

After logging in, he browses through what's been set-up on the system. There's a database that holds a digital version of every issue _The New Yorker _has ever published, and he makes a mental note to read through some later. There's also a look-book on his desktop that shows a picture of each writer on staff, with their phone numbers and emails below. He prints it right then, deciding to study it in the time left before the meeting. The least he can do is impress them by knowing their names already.

After memorizing the faces and names of those who will be attending the meeting, he checks his watch, grabs a pen and notebook, and heads down the hall.

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By the time the first month of work is over, Dan finally feels like he's a part of the team. In between editing and writing, he spent the first few weeks scouring through old issues of the magazine for inspiration. He ended up finding weekly editorials and sections that have since dissipated over the years. It's the perfect thing to bring back to upcoming issues of the magazine, and Dan's thrilled when his boss is all for it. For the next few weeks, it's his job to start up the new project.

His career is off to a great start and, after living with his dad and Lily for a few weeks, he finally moves into his own place. It's a nice size for the Soho neighborhood, thanks to his large salary, but thankfully doesn't feel like wasted space or that it's _too_ big.

His days are filled with work and friends. In addition to the new buddies from work, Dan finds himself out with Nate a few times a week. As a high-end realtor, Serena often shows penthouses late at night, so he and Nate meet up either at a bar or he and Serena's apartment. Dan hasn't been home since they eloped and he's relieved to see that his friends act the same even though they're married. The only thing that's changed is the way they look and speak to one another—the adoration and love is much greater.

Being back in the city, he'd expected to get hit with another wave of missing Blair—another wave of loneliness. But he didn't expect it to be so powerful. Without Adelaide here, or Blair for that matter, he decides he needs a girl in his life.

Which is how Penny comes into the picture; she's a seven-week-old chocolate lab, softer than soft, and totally adorable. He's instantly glad that he doesn't have much furniture in his apartment because Penny quickly tears through everything. But despite her high maintenance and pep twenty-four-seven he's struck by how quickly she fills his heart, and within days he doesn't feel so lonely anymore.

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"Mmm," Greer hums, taking a long sip of her coffee. "Uhh this is so good. Oh my god."

"Please, Greer," Blair chides, hiding her smirk with her own mug. "You don't need to let the entire café know." She watches her friend take another sip and muffle a moan.

"It's too early for your bitchiness," Greer says, frowning. "I need sunshine. Where's Sere—"

"Sorry I'm late!" Serena calls, as if she's heard Greer say her name. "I had to stop by my office first to pick up some paperwork."

Shrugging, Blair replies, "No worries. We got here a few minutes ago. How's Nate?"

A smile glides easily across Serena's face. "He's good. He's doing what we're doing... getting coffee with a friend." She stops short of specifying that her husband is actually getting coffee with _Dan _right now, but she's too exhausted to have that conversation with Blair this morning. It's a miracle in itself that Dan's been in the city for a month without her finding out. "I can't stay long. I have a showing in a half hour."

"I can't stay long either. I have to be in for a meeting in forty-five minutes," Greer says, taking a sip of coffee that makes her eyes roll back. "Mmm." Her moan is more exaggerated this time and directed right at Blair.

Blair rolls her eyes and turns her attention to Serena. "How are you? How's work?"

"Exhausting. I've shown this one couple the same penthouse five times already this week. They're the people I'm meeting this morning. The wife wants to see if her favorite area rug will look nice in the entryway."

"They sound lovely," Blair says wryly.

Serena exhales loudly."Yeah, they are," she says, before they all erupt into laughter.

For the next half-hour, the trio of women do their usual catch-up; this is their weekly girls coffee date, always set in the books. With their busy schedules, it's amazing they've been able to keep it up, but they never fail to make it each Wednesday.

When Serena needs to head to her showing, Blair and Greer stand with her. "I should go too, if I want to make my meeting," Greer says, throwing away her cup. "You coming?"

Blair shakes her head. "No, I have to stop and get Tabitha's coffee order."

Serena looks confused. "Can't you get it here?"

Giving her an amused grin, Blair explains, "If only it were that easy, S. But Tabitha has a thing for Starbucks, so I must go there." She gives her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "I'll call you later," she turns to Greer, "and I'll see you at work."

Twenty minutes later, as she's stepping out of Starbucks, her phone rings. She checks the screen and answers at once, "Hi, Tabitha, I'm on my wa—ahh!"

She doesn't fully comprehend what has happened until she's flat on the sidewalk. Once she's over the shock, she slowly registers the blinding pain that jabs through her left knee, the coffee spilled in a puddle below her, and the feeling of tears prickling her eyes. "Tabitha, I'll be there in thirty minutes," she says quickly, ending the call and finally noticing the voice calling for her attention.

"I am so sorry! Are you okay?"

She looks up and her heart drops.

It's Dan Humphrey.

"Blair?" he asks, breathless. "Is that you?"

"What are you doing here?" is all she can muster out, still lying on the ground.

"You tripped on my dog's leash—or, my dog's leash tripped _you._ I'm so sorry, I didn't think it was in anyone's way." He offers her a hand to help her stand, and it's now that she notices the small puppy in his arms.

Once she gets to her feet she swallows a cry; her knee is screaming in pain. She shifts her weight and watches Dan place the puppy back on the ground.

She goes back to her question. "No, I mean...what are you doing in _New York?_"

He nods, clearly knowing what she meant before. "I got a job at _The New Yorker _and I moved back about a month ago."

"A month? Do Nate and Serena know?"

He tilts his head to the side, a little confused. "Of course. I was just with Nate ten minutes ago."

Blair makes a mental note to kill Serena.

They hear a lapping sound and both look to the ground; the puppy is licking up the spilled coffee.

"Pen, no!" Dan leans down to pick her up again.

"And you have a...dog." Blair says it more as a statement, than a question.

"Yup. This is Pen," he says, kissing the puppy's head. "Or, Penny. Penny, this is Blair."

She's not a dog person, but even she has to admit—it may be the cutest puppy ever.

She rolls her eyes. "Very original name," she says with a touch of sarcasm.

"Hey! Don't hate on Penny." Dan presses another kiss to her head.

"Hi Pen." She reaches out to pat the soft puppy, who immediately starts licking her hands. Blair grimaces. "Lovely. Now I need to wash my hands."

"Yeah, and that's not the only thing that needs to be washed," Dan adds.

Blair raises a brow. "Excuse me?"

He nods his head towards her body. "Your clothes are covered in coffee."

She sighs loudly and looks at her watch. "And I'm late for work, so I have no time to go home and change."

"Who was the coffee for?"

"My crazy, but genius, boss." She pauses before adding, "Tabitha Hutton."

He looks surprised, but mostly impressed. "You work for Tabitha Hutton? Editor-in-Chief of _Elle_?"

She tilts her chin up, proud. "Yes, I do."

"Wow. That's great." And he means it; you work under Tabitha Hutton for a year and you're set up for life.

Awkward silence ensues, long enough for Blair to start getting uncomfortable. She's not used to this feeling with Dan and she hates it.

"Well, I need to go get another coffee again. Tabitha can't be kept waiting," she says, trying a joke to lighten the mood.

"What's her order?"

"A soy mocha. Why?"

"I'll get it. You stay here." Before she can object, Penny's in her arms and he's inside the coffee shop. She looks down, stunned that she's holding a puppy—who's fur is touching her _Marchesa_ blouse. Not that animal hair matters anymore, since she'll have to throw it away anyway from the coffee stains.

She feels Penny start to gnaw on her knuckles; her teeth don't hurt, but she wants her to stop immediately. "Penny, no!" The dog stops, but looks up at her with big, innocent puppy eyes.

"Why are the most annoying things always so cute?" Blair asks, mentally scolding herself for talking to a _dog_.

"We can't help it," comes Dan's voice, his gaze locked on hers.

Blair drops a kiss on Penny to hide her blush and decides to ignore his comment. "Well, thanks for doing that." She swaps Penny for the coffee. "I have to go."

They stare at each other in silence for a moment, before Blair finally breaks it. "So...if you want to get lunch sometime and catch-up, give me a call."

Once she says it, she regrets it. Of course he doesn't want to see her again. She's not even sure why he's even _talking_ to her after what she did—

"Sure. Are you free on Friday?"

He can't believe he's said yes. Honestly, looking at her now, he's overcome with the feeling of pure hatred mixed with all-consuming, all-encompassing love. But even if he does still hate her for what she did, he still wants to see her again.

It takes Blair a moment to realize what he's said. She nods casually. "Friday? Yeah, Friday works."

"Okay. Call me." And with a wave, he's gone.

Fifteen minutes later, Blair hobbles into Greer's office, her knee resisting each step.

"Goddamn Dan Humphrey!"

"Huh? Dan? What in the world happened?" Greer asks, eyes widening at Blair's appearance. "Is that coffee?"

"Yes, it is. So while you go deliver this coffee to Tabitha and tell her I am having an emergency meeting with Elsie in Copy, I'm going to the wardrobe department to get a change of clothes. And then you're going to come back here and listen to me tell you what happened without saying one word or laugh. And then you're going to get me a band-aid and ice, because I think I broke my knee. Got it?"

Greer only nods and does as she's told. When she comes back to her office ten minutes later, Blair is sitting in the extra chair with her face buried in her hands.

She hears Greer step in, but keeps her face buried. "For three years I've envisioned the moment where I see Dan again. I had hoped that I'd be dressed in a stunning gown, with pristine hair and flawless makeup." She looks up at her friend. "Instead, I get a banged-up knee and coffee spilled down my clothes."

Greer kneels and begins to wash Blair's cut. "You've walked in heels every day of your life. How the hell did you trip?"

"That's the other thing," Blair sighs. "I tripped over his puppy's leash. Dan has a puppy. A puppy Greer!"

"You hate dogs."

"Dogs, yes. _Puppies_, no. And a puppy in Dan's arms? God," she groans.

"_Ohh,_" Greer says. "Men with dogs are sexy."

Blair closes her eyes in agreement. "I don't even understand why he wants to have lunch with me. I don't even understand why I _asked_."

"Aren't you still in love with him?" Greer asks bluntly, pressing the band-aid to Blair's skin and then sitting in the chair beside her.

"It's complicated."

"It doesn't sound complicated to me," she says back.

Before Blair can defend herself, Greer's phone chimes. "Oh, I've gotta run. Photoshoot."

Blair stands slowly, trying not to put all her weight on her left leg. "Where are you headed for it?"

Greer smiles, barely containing her glee. "Actually, I'm out of my mind excited. We're headed here." She hands a picture to Blair, who immediately gasps. Greer revels in it. "Awesome, right? Look at you all jealous."

Blair dismisses her quip with a wave. "I've actually been here before."

It was one of her favorite days with Dan, and as she slowly makes her way up to her office, the memory plays out in her mind.

**.**

**.**

_**April 2012**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

"_What the—Dan!" Blair squealed in surprise, startled by the piece of fabric being wrapped around her eyes. "Just what do you think you're doing?" Wanting to see his face, she reached up to take the blindfold off. _

_Except she couldn't._

_Because just as she was about to, he tied her wrists together too. _

_When she felt him walk back in front of her, she decided to play dirty. Outlining her upper lip with her tongue, she stepped forward until she was flush against him. "Handcuffing me, are you? My, my Dan...you're kinkier than I thought," she teased, voice low and sultry. _

_He lowered his lips so that they were a breath away from hers. "Oh Waldorf. You have no idea what I'm capable of." And then he captured her in a kiss so titillating and luscious, she whimpered when he pulled away._

"_Now, can you behave and just chill out until we get there?" _

_She pursed her lips in thought, tilting her head back to look up at him even though she couldn't see through the silk. He pulled her against him again, raking his fingers through the curls that were now cascading down her back. As he drew circles at the base of her neck, the sensation left her puddy in his hands._

"_Mmm...fine," she finally resigned, sighing in relaxation. She pursed her lips again, still leaning back in his hands, and smiled against his mouth when he kissed her again. "Okay, let's go."_

_For the next hour she let him lead her to the secret location, holding onto his hand the entire time. She was surprised when he helped her into a car, where they proceeded to drive for forty-five minutes. She soon realized they were not in the city anymore; for one thing, he barely pressed the brakes, so she knew they were on the highway. But the giveaway was when he dropped the windows down and she could hear (and feel) the wind ripping through the car from the high speed they were driving at._

_When they finally stopped, he helped her out of the car and into a heavy jacket. He grinned at her face; she was physically fighting herself not to ask any questions. It wasn't cold out and she was obviously confused with the parka._

"_Okay. Almost time to take the blindfold off," he said, leaning in to kiss her again. "First, you have to put these headphones on and put the hood up to cover your head._

"_Are you serious?" she asked in disbelief._

"_Totally." _

_In all honesty, she could barely mask her excitement. Whatever he had planned was obviously good._

_He proceeded to put heavy soundproof headphones on her—more specifically, the kind that helicopter pilots use—and led her up one step. Once she was in place, he lifted the headphones an inch and told her to sit down. It was the only way to truly keep her in the dark about their location; he didn't want the wind giving him away._

_After giving the signal, he held her hand as the next part began. The ten minutes passed by slowly, and to make sure she didn't try to wiggle her way out of the earphones, he held onto the earpieces and kissed her for several minutes. It worked—her mind was so distracted, she completely forgot about the handcuffs, blindfold, _and_ earphones._

_After what seemed like hours, he took off the headphones, untied the scarf around her wrists, and helped her stand back up. "Ready?" _

_She bounced a little on her toes. "Yes!"_

"_Okay." He turned her around so that he was standing behind her. Leaning close to her ear, he whispered, "One, two, three...surprise..." And off came the blindfold._

_It took her a moment to focus her eyes at the sight; after being in the dark so long, she wasn't used to the light. She gasped, not really believing where they were._

_They were 3,000 feet above ground—over New York City, to be exact—in a hot air balloon._

"_From up here, everything looks the same," she heard him say," You overlook bridges and boroughs. No Brooklyn, no Upper East Side." He took her hand. "From up here, it looks like we're from the same place." _

_She gasped again at his words. Turning around, she reached up to hold his face in her hands. "I love you," she said, the sincerity evident in her voice. _

_He smiled; it was the first time she'd said those words to him._

_Brushing a stray curl behind her ear, he echoed the same words back: "I love you too." As he leaned down to capture her lips with his, she vowed to herself to never forget this moment for the rest of her life._

_**.**_

_**.**_

She may have done something wrong, and she knows that no matter what their future holds—whether together or apart—she'll do whatever she can to make it up to him. But right now, she's just glad he's not cutting her out of his life.

Sending him a text, she writes: _how about Friend of a Farmer near Gramercy Park on fri?_

She can't help but smile when he responds: _see you then._

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**tbc**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You'll find out what happened three years ago in the next chapter :) How was this one? Am I the only one who thinks men with dogs are sexy as hell? :)**

**Review please!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. Thank you to everyone who added this to alerts/favorites or reviewed...it means a GREAT deal to me :) Anyone else still smiling like a fool over last night's episode? :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p>The days leading up to her lunch date with Dan are filled with meetings with designers, annoyed phone conversations with Serena ("I didn't tell you Dan was in town? I could've <em>sworn<em> I did!"), and about fifteen more coffee runs for Tabitha. Even this morning had been crazy busy, and if it weren't for Greer pulling her out of a meeting—with ample time to hit the wardrobe and makeup department for quick touch-ups—she would have never made it on time for lunch.

Just after noon, Dan is already standing outside the restaurant, with Ray-Bans covering his eyes and his cell phone in-hand. His fingers are moving quickly across the screen typing a message of some sort, but once he hears her heels walk up to him, he slips it in his back pocket. He looks utterly handsome in a button down and jeans, and she can't believe she's thinking this, but she actually misses Penny in his arms.

He grins at the sight of her. She's wearing a colorful outfit, making her entire body glow with happiness, and her makeup is subtly feminine. Her hair was pulled back the other day when he saw her, and he notices now that her hair is slightly different from what it was three years ago. It still falls in loose curls, but her bangs fall bluntly across her forehead just above her brows. She looks older—but not aged—professional, and absolutely stunning.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Blair quietly sighs at the uncomfortable air between them; she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it. She notices Dan lean into her and without thinking, automatically leans in to kiss him. He averts her mouth, though, but she catches on too late. Her lips brush his cheek awkwardly.

"Oh. I...uh..." Dan stutters, "was going in for the hug."

Blair sucks in a breath and shakes her head. "That was my fault." She notices a smudge of coral on his skin and her lips twist into a smile. "Sorry, but I got some lipstick on your cheek." She reaches up to thumb it away.

"It's okay." He forces a smile and gestures to an empty table. "Want to sit down?"

"Sure." Out of the corner of her eye she notices his hand come up to the small of her back, ready to lead. He drops it just as quickly before he touches her.

"I have to apologize in advance...I have a last-minute meeting that was just scheduled for this afternoon, so I can't stay long."

"Oh, it's okay," she replies, masking her disappointment. "Do you just want to turn this into coffee instead of lunch?"

This time, his smile is unforced and genuine. "Sure. We can always have lunch again."

After they order their drinks, they stare at each other. Out of habit, and for simply something to do, Blair twists the bangles around her wrist. "So...how are you?"

He relaxes, visibly relieved that she started the conversation. "I'm good. My job is busy, but it's been really rewarding so far."

"That's great," she says, briefly placing her hand over his, before pulling away. "You work for _The New Yorker_, right?"

He nods. "Yeah, I'm their Senior Fiction Editor. I write short pieces, as well as edit and approve works that other writers turn in."

She smiles wide. "That sounds perfect for you."

"Yeah, it is," he says, before taking a sip of his coffee. "Definitely worth coming back for."

She stiffens at that. "So...you were in California?"

He takes a breath and nods. "Yes, I lived in Santa Monica for a few years after I graduated. Finished my second book, toured around, wrote some random small articles..."

"Did you like it there?" she asks carefully.

He smiles. "I loved it. The weather was beautiful every day, the people there are so nice, and it was just the..." he pauses for a moment, his smile fading, and then finishes, "the break I needed."

She swallows, hoping to soothe the knot in her throat, and looks down at her hands. "About that—"

He cuts in, "Can we not talk about it?"

Her eyes meet his. "Why not?"

"Because it took me three fucking years to blur it from my mind Blair."

His tone forces her eyes to close for a moment. "Dan—"

He sighs, angry with himself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," she says quietly.

He brushes off her reply. "Yeah I do. I didn't mean to lash out." He lightly kicks her under the table so she looks back at him. "But...can we not talk about it today?"

She nods.

For the next minute, they are both silent, unsure of how to move on to a new topic.

He breaks it. "So how's _your_ job? You've landed yourself quite a position, Waldorf." He smirks at her, and when it reaches his eyes she lets herself relax again.

She smiles back. "I know. It's an amazing opportunity and I love it to pieces—maybe _too_ much some days. I feel like I live, breathe, and eat work," she says, laughing.

"That'll be me soon, I'm sure. It's amazing I can even get home during the day to take Penny out."

"How is Pen?" she asks wryly.

Dan rolls his eyes. "She's a troublemaker. She's totally wild during the day, pouncing on everything in sight. She wears herself out so much that she usually falls asleep by eight, curled up in my lap."

Blair bites her lip, failing at stopping a smile. "That's a pretty adorable image."

"Yeah, she's cute. I'm glad I got her." He blushes and rubs his face. "God, I sound like a dad talking about his kid."

Laughing, Blair nods. "Not far off."

They chat for another few minutes, discussing only safe and practically meaningless topics, before he announces he has to go.

"Thanks for meeting me," Blair says when they're standing outside, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, no problem. I'm glad we could catch up."

After another moment of silent lingering, he finally waves and says goodbye.

She waits until he's out of sight before hopping in a cab and calling out an address.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Once the door swings open, she wastes no time. "I don't know what to do!"

Serena raises her brow. "Uh..._hello to you_ too. Won't you come—" Before she even finishes the sentence, Blair is already in the living room and on her couch. "...in," she concludes lamely.

"_Fine_, hi!" Blair says in an annoyed tone, throwing her hands in the air. "Now can we move past greetings and onto the real problem?"

Serena laughs. "Sure. But would you like anything to eat or drink?"

"No thanks." She rakes her fingers through her hair and watches an amused Serena sit beside her.

"What's wrong B?"

At her friend's loving and soothing voice, and the hand she places upon her knee, she crumbles. "I miss him so much Serena. I just..." She takes a breath and wills away her tears. Sitting up straight, she continues, "The past three years, I've thought about what I did, and I _know_ I was wrong. But I just wish he could forgive me. I wish he would _listen_ to what I need to tell him. I need to talk to him about that night."

"And he won't let you?"

"No! He refuses to talk about what happened. He said it's too hard to think about."

As she's thinking, Serena tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Delicately, she says, "B, that's understandable. I mean...you broke his heart. If it were you, would _you_ want to rehash it?"

"Of course not! But he doesn't know all the details!"

"Are they really important? I don't think anything will change the way he feels about what happened."

Blair sighs and rests her face in her hands. Shaking her head, she gets off the couch. "No. I need to talk to him." She looks at Serena. "What's his address?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

After Serena had reluctantly given her his address, Blair had realized with annoyance that it was still in the middle of the workday, and she had about five hours before Dan would be home.

The afternoon thankfully flied by and she finds herself in the lobby of a recently renovated building in SoHo. After smiling at the doorman, she presses the button and patiently waits for the elevator to descend to his floor. Once she steps out, she smoothes her skirt and brushes through her hair with her fingers. Taking a deep breath, she knocks.

A muffled voice yells, "Come in, it's open!"

She slowly opens the door and walks into the entryway. From her viewpoint she can see right into the living room, where Dan is sitting on the couch, his arms wrapped around a woman. The woman is leaning into his chest, and they're both under a blanket.

"Oh," Blair says, backing away slowly. In between fast breaths, she says, "I'm sorry...I...I didn't mean to interrupt...I'm just going to..."

Without finishing her sentence, she turns and shuts his door, entering the elevator and ignoring the calls through the walls. She feels the tears streak down her face once she gets into the cab and swallows the need to scream. Her mind races back to that night three years ago.

It had been the night before her and Dan's four-month anniversary, and Dan revealed he had elaborate plans for celebrating. He was still excited that they were in a committed relationship with each other—long past _I love yous, _but still filled with nights of endless sex—and he wanted to celebrate. She teased him about it each month, but inwardly loved it. He always planned sweet dates that made her fall for him all over again.

On this particular night, Dan had traveled to visit his mom in Hudson, promising he would be back the following morning to pick her up for a day of activities. After pouting over his upcoming absence, they exchanged _I love yous_ and kissed goodbye, leaving Blair to a night of movies and leftovers.

Until:

**.**

**.**

**.**

"_To what do I owe the pleasure..." Blair drawled, voice dripping in sarcasm._

"_Believe me, Waldorf, the pleasure's all mine." _

_Even _hearing _his voice made her cringe. _

"_Seriously, Chuck. What do you want?" she asked, too tired for his antics. _

_After a long pause, he finally spoke. "I...I need a favor."_

_Even though he couldn't see her, she still let her jaw drop. "A _favor_? What makes you think you deserve a favor from _me_?"_

_He sighed audibly. "I know, I know. I know I don't deserve it. I _know_, Blair. But you're the only person I can ask."_

_She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Give me details."_

"_Do you remember Stephen Ames and Walter Moore?"_

_She sat up straight; she hadn't heard those names in...well, since she dated Chuck. "Of course. They work for Simmons, right?"_

_He cracked a smile; she remembered. "Right. Well they just called and said they're on their way to New York _now _and they asked me if I would join them for dinner. More specifically, me and...my girlfriend Blair."_

_She shut her eyes,_ now_ knowing what he wanted. "Bass..." she said warningly._

"_I know you're not my girlfriend—"_

"_No shit I'm not your girlfriend! And I haven't been in about two years Chuck," she snapped. "Don't they read the newspaper? Surely they saw the coverage of my marriage to Louis last year—"_

"_Yes, they did. But they stupidly assumed we got back together after your annulment." He took a deep breath. "When I began to tell them that I didn't think you would be able to make it, they became instantly wary and hesitant to even have dinner anymore. Blair...you _know_how much their business means to Bass Industries. I _have_ to secure this deal. I have to continue to uphold this image I've given them."_

_She scoffed. "Which is?"_

"_Which is..." he scrambled for words, "which is a CEO who is no longer a bachelor or womanizer. A CEO that has settled down and is someone they can trust."_

"_Chuck, I am someone else's girlfriend—Dan's! I cannot have dinner with you and pretend you be yours." She was stunned that he was even requesting it._

"_Please Blair. We don't need to kiss each other, touch each other—nothing. Maybe hold hands when we walk into the restaurant, but that's it! I'll even call Dan and promise—"_

"_No!" she cut him off. "Don't call Dan. Just...let me think for a second." She stood and paced in a circle, going through everything in her head._

_She didn't have anything to do that night, and he promised there would be no PDA. It wasn't technically cheating if they didn't _do_ anything...right? It would just be a friend helping another friend out. And over these past few months, he...has become somewhat of a friend; emphasis on 'somewhat.'_

_After a few moments of silence, Chuck added in, "I swear; besides your hand, I won't touch any inch of your body. We'll just have a quick dinner, charm our way through drinks and then you can leave."_

_She knew she shouldn't do it, but if nothing was going to happen...there was no harm. _

"_Fine."_

_He let out a sigh in relief. "It's in an hour at 1Oak. Should I pick you up?"_

_Quickly, she replied, "No. I'll meet you there."_

"_Okay, that's fine," he said. "Blair...thank you."_

_She shook her head at herself, already regretting saying yes. "I mean it Bass—you pull _any_ funny business and I'll ruin you." And with that, she slapped her phone shut and sat back in her chair. Now all she had to figure out was how to tell Dan._

_Or...maybe she didn't need to tell him. He was in Hudson, far from the city, and she had already decided it was a harmless dinner; therefore, he didn't _need_ to know. _

_Walking into her closet, she scanned the dresses hanging across the back wall and smiled. After selecting one, as well as matching shoes, she called for Dorota to help with hair and makeup and texted with Dan. She felt guilty not telling him where she was going, but he didn't need to know. _

_Nothing was going to happen._

_**.**_

_**Sing with me: The Brooklyn Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, my fair...Upper East Siders. Or so that's what it looks like. What do we have here, you ask? Well it looks like an old flame has rekindled themselves tonight. As you can see, my sources have spotted a certain B & C hooking up in 1Oak's alleyway. Last time I checked, B was happily in love with (not-so) Lonely Boy. It looks like B has some explaining to do... You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**_

_**.**_

Fuck_ she muttered to herself, slamming her phone shut and flagging the first cab she saw. Her voice wobbled as she told the driver his address and by the time she arrived she was practically sobbing. Once in front of the door, she pulled herself together before she hesitantly opened it._

_The loft was silent and dark, until the sound of her heels broke it. She felt a knife pierce through her heart at the sight of packed suitcases, and it was only in that moment that she started to really panic. _

_The sight of him made her choke back a sob._

_He was sitting on the couch, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, looking utterly devastated._

_When she stopped a few feet away from him, he finally spoke. _

"_I came home early to surprise you." He shrugged and didn't take his eyes off the floor. "I can deal with a lot of things that you do, Blair. But this?" He fell silent again. "I thought I knew you. I thought you were better than this." He stood up and walked over to his suitcases. She finally registered what was happening when he tugged on his jacket. _

"_Wait! Dan, please don't go," she cried, rushing over to him. "Please, please..." Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears and her throat was thick with emotion. "Please stay," she begged, grabbing the lapels of his coat. "Please let me explain. Please don't go!" _

"_Stop," he said, his voice cracking. The fact that he was crying made Blair hate herself more. "Please don't break my heart any more than it already is."_

"Please Dan_," she whispered. _

_For the first time since she walked in, he looked right into her eyes. "Goodbye Blair."_

_He left her in his loft—his _home, _the place _she _now considered home—and raced down the stairs before he could hear her cry._

**.**

**.**

**.**

They aren't dating—they've been apart for three years—and yet the sight of Dan and another woman makes her want to crawl under her bed and never come out. They aren't even in a relationship and she still feels like he's cheating.

_Cheating._

Her blood runs cold at what must have gone through Dan's mind three years ago...when they _were_ in love and he saw _she _cheated.

Because if this is what she's feeling now—when they aren't committed to one another—she can't imagine what it must have felt like then.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_**tbc**_

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><p><strong>AN: Don't hate me? Keep the faith.**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! With two weeks left of school, I have lots of finals and presentations. Thanks for your patience.**

**Thanks for not throwing tomatoes at me for the last chapter :)**

**As always, I'm so _very_ appreciative of the reviews, alerts, & favorites. I promise to send personal thank-yous this weekend. I'd also like to thank Sara for her continuing support and honest feedback :) And please excuse any typos in this chapter. It's late, and even though I read over it a couple times, I probably missed a few.**

**Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p>"Knock knock!" comes a sunny voice, prompting Blair to look up. Greer is standing in her doorway.<p>

"Hey," she replies, waving her inside.

"Morning, doll. How are you?"

Blair sits down with a sigh. "Busy. You?"

"Bored shitless."

"Greer, lower your voice!" Blair scolds quietly. "Tabitha is on the other side of the wall. Not to mention, your language is becoming more crass by the day." She laughs when her friend shrugs. "What's up? How was Saturday night?"

Greer flashes a cheerful smile. "It was fabulous! You should've come out with us!" she says, flipping open a magazine and browsing through the pages.

"Sorry. After catching Dan with that..." she stops herself from using an unkind word, "..._girl_ I just needed to get out of the city for the weekend. The Hamptons worked their magic well." She flaunts a convincing grin. "Who went?"

Looking up from the magazine, Greer thinks back for a moment. "Let's see...Colby, Liz, Marion from Copy, Davis, and...Paloma. Fun group."

"Anyone catch your eye?" Blair asks, taking a bite of her apple and rolling her chair closer to her friend.

"Yup. There was this _gorgeous_ guy from the Lower East Side who was at the bar...Will, was his name. He and I had a good time, if you know what I mean," Greer answers slyly, winking at Blair.

"I do, thank you," Blair laughs, shaking her head. "Did you get his number?"

Greer holds up her phone to show the new contact. "I also scored this gal's number. She's in town for a few weeks from Miami...really pretty. Great bod."

"Greer!"

"What?" she asks innocently, a smirk glued to her face. "Just keeping my options open. Wouldn't be the first girl, you know."

Blair sighs audibly, rolling her eyes in amusement. "You're insane, you know that?"

"I'm okay with that," Greer shrugs with a smile, turning back to her magazine.

Finishing off her apple, Blair rolls her chair back behind her desk to check her email. "What are you doing later?"

"No plans. Why, wanna grab dinner?"

"Sure." Blair looks over at Greer, who's made herself look very comfortable on her chair. "Now since you're...as you so properly put it..."bored shitless," mind if I give you something off of _my _to-dolist?" Blair asks, adding a slightly begging tone to her voice.

"I suppose," she resigns, setting the magazine aside.

"Can you run these down to Accessories?" She loops a handful of necklaces around Greer's neck. "And these are actually for you. Tabitha approves of them all...so it's your choice which ones get printed," she says, handing her a flash drive.

"I'll bring these down now."

"Okay. And text me details for tonight." She waves as Greer leaves and calls out, "Thank you!

**.**

**.**

**.**

Three hours later, she has ten things scratched off her to-do list. She feels productive and satisfied for five minutes, before her plans of a leisurely lunch are dashed by Tabitha; another list of errands is in her inbox and waiting to be completed.

Thankfully, her ringing phone gives her an excuse to ignore the list for a moment. Seeing the caller, she smiles and answers.

"B! It's me," Serena's voice says through the phone. "How are you?"

Placing the phone in the crook of her neck, Blair sets a bundle of fabric swatches aside. "I'm okay," she says semi-distractedly, looking at one swatch in particular. "Just swamped at work."

"Oh, do you want me to call you later?"

"No, no," she replies, shaking her head. Sitting back in her chair, she lets herself relax for a moment. "I can talk. What's up?"

"Nothing much, I just got back to the office. Nate surprised me and brought me to lunch."

"I wish I had a husband who spontaneously brought me to lunch," she teases.

"You will, B. But Nate told me that we going to dinner with Dan and...I think her name's Adelaide, but he wanted to know if you wanted to come. You can bring Whit!" She squeals through the phone. "Oh! This will be so much fun...a group date!"

Blair cringes, her stomach turning into knots. "Who's Adelaide?" she asks, feigning curiosity.

"Dan's friend, or girlfriend, I don't know. I've never met her." At last, Serena catches on. "Oh...would that be totally uncomfortable for you? Ugh, I'm sorry, B! Forget I asked."

"No, no, it's fine. Was going to happen sometime, right?" Blair says tightly, masking her true thoughts. "You know what? I'd love to come. And if Whit can't make it, I'll bring Greer. We were going to go out anyway."

"Perfect! I'll call you later with details!"

**.**

**.**

**.**

They're an hour into dinner, and it's been an utter disaster. Serena and Nate, still in their newlywed faze, have spent the entire time feeding each other from their respective dishes, to the point where the waiter had brought out extra plates to hint them to stop. Greer had been a welcome distraction from them, telling funny stories from work and answering questions about her native Australia. She'd also given plenty of reassuring knee squeezes and sympathetic looks to Blair throughout the meal.

And lastly, Dan and Adelaide. To Blair's surprise—and thankfulness—they'd kept the PDA very minimal. Dan had only once leaned over to press a kiss to Adelaide's temple, and she had given him a simple wink in return.

Addie—as Dan calls her—is prettier than Blair had hoped. She'd only seen the back of her head on that one night prior, so when she'd walked into the restaurant, Blair nearly lost her breath at her beauty.

Looking across the table now, she still radiates a warmth and friendliness that makes Blair ache. Blair has to admit she's...very likeable. Since they're dating, she assumes Dan has obviously told Adelaide some things about their break-up three years ago, but Adelaide has yet to show her feelings on their history. She is nothing but sweet from the moment they were introduced until now, and Blair immediately recognizes the look in Addie's eyes whenever her gaze is on Dan.

It's exactly how _she _used to look at him.

_Continues_ to look at him.

And there's a special look in Dan's eyes whenever his focus is on Adelaide—respect, admiration, pride—that makes Blair want to automatically like her, instead of hate her...like her heart is telling her. Simply because if Dan adores her so much, she must be something special.

Adelaide's wavy auburn hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail, with a braid from the front sweeping seamlessly into it. Her green eyes sparkle as she tells stories from California; the way she speaks about her home has Blair practically smelling the salty Pacific air. She also teases Dan throughout dinner about his bad habits, none of which Blair is familiar with. With a tinge of sadness, Blair accepts that he's changed a little since he's left.

But the conversation had been fairly pleasant and cordial all night, and Blair had kept her claws hidden. Taking another sip of wine, she smiles as the waiter clears away their dinner dishes.

"Here is the dessert menu for this evening, if you care for something sweet. I'll be back in a moment to take your order," the waiter says, before walking back to the kitchen.

As Blair begins reading over the menu, Serena and Nate clear their throats.

"I actually think we're going to head out..." Nate announces, giving Serena a suggestive look that makes his wife blush and look to her lap. "Dinner's on us, though."

"No, no, I've got it Nate," Dan replies, shooing away Nate's credit card. "Go home. My treat."

Giving Dan a quick shoulder slap, Nate returns with, "Thanks man," and walks over to kiss Adelaide goodbye.

"This was so fun! I'm glad we could all get together." Serena beams and looks over everyone. "It was just like old times, but with some new faces in the mix."

"Thanks for the invite," Greer says warmly, standing to hug Serena goodbye. "See you tomorrow for coffee."

Serena walks around the table to Blair, pulling her up for a hug. "You did good," she whispers, tightening her hold. "It wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," she replies quietly. "See you tomorrow."

The couple isn't gone for two minutes before Greer gives Blair a nervous look.

"What?" Blair asks, afraid of what she's about to hear.

"Don't kill me..."

"_Greer,_" she says warningly.

"But Will...that hot guy from the bar...he just texted me—"

Blair groans. "Fine, go. Have fun."

She squeals. "Ah! Thank you!"

Narrowing her eyes slightly, Blair stands to hug her goodbye. "I hate you," she jokes in a sing-song voice, loud enough for only her friend's ears.

Greer pulls away smiling. "You love me."

Laughing, Blair sits back down. "That too." After bidding farewell to Dan and Adelaide, she's gone in a flash.

"So it's just us, I guess?" Adelaide laughs. "I've heard so much about you...I have to say, I was quite intimidated to meet you."

"Yes, well, there's only one Blair Waldorf," Blair replies tartly, locking eyes with Addie. She takes a slow sip of wine and revels in making Dan's friend feel uncomfortable. "So what is it you do, Adelaide?"

"Oh, I have my own jewelry company. I make everything myself and sell them online and in select stores." She plays with the stem of her wine glass, a blush rising to her cheeks. "I know it's nothing like your Upper East Side careers, but I really love it."

Dan nudges her shoulder with his. "Hey, stop that. Your stuff is great." He looks over at Blair. "She's really talented. All her pieces are really beachy and have a West Coast vibe. They're really great."

"What materials do you use?" Blair asks, mostly for manners-sake.

"All kinds, but mostly beads and hemp."

Blair fights a grimace, and instead pastes a smile onto her face. "Oh...that sounds...really great."

"Dan's been so helpful and supportive." Wrapping her arm around Dan, Adelaide leans in to kiss his cheek. "Even here, he's been making me feel so comfortable. It's wild that he spent so much time on the Upper East Side. This whole world is so different from the way I know him...a Venice/Brooklyn type." She laughs to herself, and looks to Dan. "I don't know, but it just doesn't seem like you would belong here."

Blair knows Adelaide's comment is innocent, but fury still rises through her veins. Slowly—her voice cold as ice—Blair starts, "You know...it's a real shame Dan has resorted back to the bohemian type again." Her gaze is on Adelaide and Adelaide only. "I thought you'd have learned your lesson after Vanessa. I mean, _hemp_?" She looks to Dan now, inwardly glad that Serena, Nate, and Greer have already left. "Humphrey...you traded down."

Dan's eyes widen in shock and he nearly chokes on his drink. Adelaide just looks amused.

Blair continues, speaking to Addie. "Sorry honey, but you've got some big heels to fill." And with that, she slips out of her chair and exits the restaurant.

Dan storms after her down the sidewalk. "What the _hell_ was that Blair? I've seen you've lost some class."

At his voice, she spins around. "I could tell you the same thing! You're parading her around like she's some prize. It's been a while since I've seen you so puppy-doggish. Honestly Humphrey, you just look desperate." She crosses her arms, fully aware that she's speaking _total_ lies.

"_I_ look desperate? Look in a mirror Blair." He walks closer to her. "Serena mentioned you have a boyfriend..." He gestures to the restaurant with his hand. "Where is he tonight, huh? Why am I the only one not allowed to be in another relationship? I mean...you have _no_ right—"

"Serena doesn't know what she's talking about," she spats. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Six months is a long time, Blair."

She huffs out a breath. "What, did you Google me?"

"People talk."

A gust of wind rips through them, filling the silence with a hiss.

Dan takes a step back and speaks quietly, "Not that it's any of your business, but Adelaide _isn'_t my girlfriend."

Her heart stops. "What?"

"She's not my girlfriend, Blair. In fact, she's gay. Haven't you noticed she's been eyeing _you_ all night?"

Honestly, she had. While before it had made her feel concerned and confused, now knowing the truth... she's just flattered. Not that she'd show it.

He continues, "She's just a good friend. She was the first person I met in California, and the only one who was there when everyone here wasn't, okay?" He shrugs. "Are you happy now?"

She opens her mouth to reply, but shuts it just as fast. She doesn't know what to say. "Dan, it's not about me being happy or not. It's about...it's about—"

"Well?" he asks, still waiting for an explanation.

Blair shrugs, hating that she can't come up with a brilliant excuse to her behavior. "I know I have no right to tell you who to date or my...opinions on who you _do_ date—"

"_Really?"_ he says, his voice soaked in sarcasm.

She closes her eyes. "I had just hoped you would move on to someone less...beautiful and nice. Not _her,_" she gestures at the restaurant door. "I hate that she's so perfect and sweet."

He huffs out a frustrated laugh. "Please don't do this again. You agonized over Serena's perfection for years, and we all know she's far from it." He smiles at his harmless dig, making her grin in return. He continues, "Blair...Addie is far from perfect. You wouldn't believe the fucked up shit she went through years ago. Her apartment in LA is getting remodeled, and she's living with me for a few weeks. She's just a good friend, okay?"

She lets out a breath, tears threatening to spill over. "I'm sorry for being a bitch."

He smirks. "I'm used to it."

Another gust whips through, making Blair hug herself for warmth.

"So what's wrong with this guy you're seeing?" Dan asks curiously, stepping closer to her.

"Nothing."

"Come on," he eggs her on.

She debates her answer, mouth twisting into a smirk. "He treats me well and is really nice; maybe a bit boring. I'm just taking it day by day."

"Well next time we all go out, make sure he comes along. I'd like to meet him," he says, his mouth not exactly matching his eyes.

"I don't know about that..."

"Hey, you met Addie!" Dan says with a teasing smile. "It's only fair..."

Laughing, she retorts, "I thought she wasn't your girlfriend! But...I'll think about it." She looks down at her watch. "It's getting late; I should probably head out. Early day tomorrow."

He nods, gaze still locked on hers.

"But first..." She takes a deep breath. "Let me go in and apologize to Adelaide."

Smiling gratefully, Dan links arms with her to head back inside. "Don't worry, she doesn't bite. It helps that she thinks you're hot," he says. He winces when she smacks his shoulder, and they both inwardly sigh in relief that they've finally reached an amicable place.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Hours later, her phone ringtone jolts her in her sleep, making her heart pound with surprise. She had fallen into a deep slumber barely five minutes after she'd laid down. Her apology to Adelaide had turned into two more drinks with them, and the exhaustion and alcohol had made her succumb hard to sleep.

The phone rings again, prompting Blair to take off her sleep mask. It's 3:30am. _Who in the hell...?_ She grabs the phone.

"Blair?"

His voice sounds different—the tone...it send shivers down her spine.

She clutches the phone tighter. "Dan? What's wrong?"

"It's my mom...she," his voice catches, "she died."

**.**

**.**

**.**

**tbc.**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope you enjoyed :) (Even though the end was sad.) And if Blair seems a bit whiny & annoying, don't worry...she'll be back to normal in the next chapter.**

**Review if you have time, please!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

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><p>"Blair?"<p>

His voice sounds different—the tone...it send shivers down her spine.

She clutches the phone tighter. "Dan? What's wrong?"

"It's my mom...she," his voice catches, "she died."

Her throat tightens. "I'll be right there."

But the line's already dead.

**.**

**.**

**.**

She hails a cab and is at Dan's apartment in fifteen minutes flat. She's still in her pajamas, her hair's a mess, and she's pretty sure her sleep mask is still propped up on her forehead. But she needs to be here.

She knocks on his front door loudly, not caring about the noise it makes, or the time. She hears shuffling and light footsteps before Adelaide opens the door. She looks as exhausted as Blair feels, and her eyes are red.

"Hey Blair," she says softly, not looking at all surprised to see her.

"Hey." They stand there for a moment, before Addie steps aside to let her in. One glance around the room tells her that Dan must be in his bedroom. "How is he?"

Adelaide sighs and brushes her auburn hair off her face. "Not good." Absently, she starts taking clean dishes out of the dishwasher, placing them in the cabinets. "He's in the bedroom with a beer."

Blair's eyes widen. "Jesus Addie! It's almost four in the morning!" She drops her purse and shrugs off her coat roughly. "The last thing we need is for him to be drunk."

Addie pauses what she's doing and raises her brow, challenging. "You really wanted me to rip the bottle out of his hand five minutes after he got the call?" When Blair doesn't answer, she ends with, "Didn't think so."

"Can I see him?"

"Be my guest." She points towards the hallway.

She's a little relieved to see the beer on his night stand, almost completely full. What's she not relieved to see is Dan Humphrey sitting on the edge of his bed, looking straight at the wall; no emotion is on his face,

"Dan," she says softly. He doesn't look at her. "Dan," she says again, walking closer to him. It's only when she lays a hand on his shoulder does he look at her. "Dan, babe, I—" She halts in surprise, immediately realizing her mistake. The endearment had come out naturally. "Dan, I know you're in shock, and still processing the news, but I need you to talk to me."

She kneels on the ground in front of him, and brings her hand up to cup his face. She turns so that his eyes meet hers. "Dan, who called and told you?"

"Jeff—" he clears his throat, "Jeffery."

Her heart unfolds in relief that he's speaking. "Okay...who's Jeffery?"

He clears his throat again. "Her fiancé."

"Oh," her voice slips out. She didn't know Allison was engaged. "Okay. What did he tell you?" She carefully asks the next questions, "How did she die?"

He's silent for a full minute. "Ovarian cancer."

She feels like the wind is knocked out of her. "Ov—ovarian cancer? I didn't even know she—did you know she had cancer?"

He nods. "Yeah. But she said they caught it early." He shakes his head. "Jeffery said...Jeffery said that she didn't want to worry us. It was actually stage four."

"Oh, Dan," she sighs sadly, reaching up to cup his cheek again. "I'm so sorry." She gets off her knees to wrap him in a hug, and after a moment of hesitation, he finally sinks into her embrace. They stay like that until Addie knocks on the door a few minutes later.

"Dan, your sister just called. She wants you to meet her at your mom's house."

He nods silently, then stands and disappears into the bathroom.

"Are you coming with?" Adelaide asks, leaning against the doorframe. She looks exhausted, as if she's only slept a few hours.

Glancing at the clock, Blair realizes it's the truth. They all have literally slept for only a few hours. It wasn't long ago that they were all sitting at the restaurant laughing and getting to know each other.

She looks down at her pajamas, and shakes her head. "No, I can't go like this. Will you call me when you know more? Funeral plans and other heartbreaking things like that?" Her voice cracks, and Addie gives a sympathetic grin.

"Of course."

Blair waits for another minute, waits for the running water to stop in the bathroom, waits to see Dan one last time before she goes. He comes out wearing jeans and an NYU sweatshirt. _Any_ other day she would give him a hard time for his outfit choice, but right now he looks so sad and lost, she wants to curl up in the sweatshirt with him and never let go.

"Dan, I'm going to go. Call me if you need me okay?" She hates that her eyes water and her voice shakes as she speaks; she needs to be strong for him. He nods and continues to stand a few feet from her. Blair erases the gap and moves in to hug him again. When her arms tighten around him, she feels his face drop to the crook of her neck and feels his breath against her hair. She wishes she could stay right here and make this all go away.

His silence had been worrying her, but right before he pulls away, she hears him whisper, "You know your sleep mask is still on, right?"

She lets out a watery laugh and reaches up to slip it off. "I was a little preoccupied," she replies wryly. He gives a grateful smile, and she has to force herself to leave. "I'll see you both later." After mouthing _call me_ once more to Adelaide, she makes her way back to her apartment. She's feels like she could fall into bed and sleep for a month, but something tells her she's not going to be sleeping for a while.

**.**

**.**

**.**

She's right; she doesn't sleep. The next two days are a completely whirlwind. She has work up to her ears, deadlines she can't be late on, and an ex-boyfriend in mourning. Although she hasn't seen him since that morning, Blair still feels like she's been underneath a permanent cloud for days.

Addie had called once to inform her when the funeral would be, and another time to say that if she wanted to see him, he would be coming back from Hudson for a few hours before heading back for the service. Blair had jumped at the opportunity. She'd dressed in traditional black, but threw on a teal scarf and jewelry. Teal is the color of ovarian cancer awareness, and Dan had sweetly asked everyone to wear the color.

Seconds after she knocks on his door, Addie opens it. She looks about ten times more refreshed than she'd looked the other morning, but sadness is still permeating in her eyes.

"How is he?" Blair asks immediately, rushing past Addie to drop her things. "Better. He's talking more, so that's a good thing." She pours Blair some coffee. "But since today's the funeral, I think he's gotten a new wave of _this is really happening._ He's a little more quiet and reserved today."

Blair sighs and rubs her temple. "_I _can't believe this is happening." She takes a sip of her coffee, the liquid scalding her mouth.

"Are both of your parents still alive?"

"Yes, thankfully," Blair answers. She's lucky _all_ her parents are alive, step-included. She can't even imagine.

"You're lucky," Adelaide says quietly, but doesn't expand. She shakes her head, as if clearing her mind. "Well, I laid out his funeral outfit on his bed. Hopefully he takes the memo and puts it on." Pouring herself a glass of water, she continues, "I had to force him out of his pajamas this morning."

Unable to help herself, Blair asks, "What outfit did you choose?"

"His black suit. Why?"

She sets down her mug and slips off the bar stool. "I know of something better."

Knocking softly on Dan's door, she hears a scratchy voice says, "Come in."

She opens the door a crack and sees him lying down. He's still in his jeans, but has no shirt on. "Hey," she says, opening the door wider and forcing her eyes not to focus on his bare chest. "How are you?" At closer inspection, she sees Penny curled up in his lap and her heart just about melts.

Shrugging, he throws a pillow over his eyes.

"Right," she says, dropping the question. She eyes the suit on the bed. "Dan, where's that grey suit of yours?"

"In my closet." He lifts the pillow. "Why?"

Sliding his closet door open, she spots the suit immediately. Taking it out, she inspects its condition and smoothes out a wrinkle. She looks back at Dan, now pillow-less, with his arms full of puppy and his eyes full of grief, and her gaze softens. "This is the suit your mom bought you right? The one for your book tour?"

He lets out a shaky breath and nods. "Yeah."

She sits down on the bed, gently placing the suit beside her. "I think it'd be nice of you to wear it today. Maybe with a colorful tie. Your mom always wore lots of colors." She smiles from the memory. "Or even better...teal."

He sits up, and Penny buries herself further in his lap. His arms wrap around her protectively. "Yeah, okay."

"Good." She gives a small smile and stands up. "I'll see you later in Hudson. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." he says, softly petting Penny. "I have Addie." When his eyes meet hers, something inside Blair breaks.

**.**

**.**

**.**

After a brief, but draining, service, friends and family gather outside for the burial. Blair keeps her eyes on Dan the entire time, and when his mother is laid to rest in the ground, he turns for the car. Watching him mourn makes Blair physically _ache_. She wants to be with him at all times, but she knows she can't do that. She wipes the tears from her eyes and feels a hand on her back.

She turns to see Serena and Nate. Serena's eyes are still red from crying, but her sad look has all to do with Blair. "B, sweetie, you okay?"

Blair clears her throat and smoothes out her dress. "Of course. I'm just sad for Dan, that's all. Just like you." She forces a smile onto her face.

Serena gives her a look that says _I can read through you_. They both turn to see Adelaide wrap her arms around Dan and get in the car. Serena sighs. "I know you're jealous of Addie...and that's okay. But when Dan left, he needed someone. Addie became that person." Her hand rests on Blair's shoulder, pressing. "Let her be."

Blair scoffs at her words, her throat and eyes burning. "I'm not jealous," she whispers harshly, staring at the pair again.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"_My TA just informed me of a phone call. While I'm gone, feel free to introduce yourself to the person on your right. Congratulations, you're partners for the semester."_

_As the professor steps out of the room, Dan groans. He hates when teachers do this. Before he can grumble further, he hears a cheery, "Hey!"_

_He turns to see the girl sitting beside him. At first glance, she's absolutely striking, and all thoughts of grumbling disappear from his mind. He is a single guy, after all. "Hi," he says, sticking out his hand. "I'm Dan."_

"_Adelaide. Pleased to meet you." She flashes a sunny smile and tilts her head to the side. "So if you're in this class, that means that you're a senior. But why haven't I seen you before?" _

_Dan's mouth curves upward, but he inwardly sighs. He's had to tell this story to everyone here. "I transferred from NYU."_

"_For your senior year?" _

"_Yeah, I know it's a little odd," he laughs. _

_She nods in understanding._ "_Running away?" The look in her eyes tells him that she's been where he is before. _

"_Something like that," he says distantly, thinking of home. She opens her mouth to reply, but the professor walks back in, and he's thankful for his teacher's timing. He forces himself to zone his focus back to the class, and wills all thoughts of home to leave his mind._

_He's up and out of class the second it's over, needing a breath of fresh air badly. Adelaide's question still lingers in his thoughts, and he's angry at how much it's bothering him. He's been telling himself for weeks that he's not in California because he ran away; he's here to further his literary career. _

_He still can't help but think his new friend is right._

"_Dan!" he hears someone call. He turns; sunny Adelaide again. "You rushed out before we could continue where we left off!"_

_He blushes in embarrassment. "Sorry, I just needed to get out of there."_

_She chuckles, nodding. "Don't worry, you'll get used to Simon's voice. I had him last semester, and he gets better as the semester progresses. I promise he doesn't always sound like an ass."_

_Laughter falls easily out of Dan for the first time in weeks. "He did carry a bit of arrogance in the way he spoke."_

_She rolls her eyes. "He's just trying to intimidate the newbies. Don't fall for it."_

_He grins widely at her. "Thanks for the tip. I owe you one."_

"_Buy me a cup of coffee?"_

"_Sure," he says immediately, without really thinking. But since he's been here, since moving his life across the country and leaving the only thing he truly loved, he hasn't felt more at home or comfortable than he does now. And he can't help but think Adelaide has something to do with it. _

_She looks back. "You coming or bailing?"_

_He smiles. "Right behind ya."_

**.**

**.**

**.**

"I'm not jealous," she says to Serena again, the wind blowing her hair back.

Serena shrugs, giving up for the moment.

Blair looks at the time and the line of cars headed to the memorial luncheon. It's going to take forever to get back to the house.

She sees Dan's car pull away and watches it until it's out of sight. With a thick throat she says, "I just can't help feeling that that should be me."

.

**.**

**.**

**tbc.**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>AN: I'm so sorry for the absence. My life became a little bit crazy this past month, in more ways than one. Even though it's summer, my internship started this week, so my time will continue to be limited. I will try to write whenever I can, so I appreciate your patience.****

**I had a few people message me and ask if I was giving up on this story. I'm not! The disaster of a finale did not make me want to write this story any less...in fact, it did the opposite. Let's just continue to live in this happy world of fanfiction together, shall we?**

**Review and let me know you're still reading! :)**


	7. Chapter 6

****Added Note: In this chapter, Dan puts his puppy in a cage before he leaves his apartment. A reader pointed out in a review that doing this is cruel, and she didn't think Dan would do that. I'd just like to say that I LOVE dogs (I have one!) and when my dog was a puppy, we put him in a cage every time we left the house. We did this until he was trained to not eat or ruin the furniture. I know a TON of people who do this...it's not just me. I would never do or write anything that would harm an animal. I'm sorry if you're offended by this decision, but I'm keeping that part in the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p>In the following weeks after Allison's funeral, five noteworthy things happen to Blair: she breaks things off (finally) with Palmer, finds out she's going to be an "aunt" to Serena and Nate's (long-awaited) baby, gets a considerable (surprise) raise at work, and doesn't see Dan <em>once<em>.

She has to force herself not to worry.

He's understandably still grieving the unexpected loss of his mother. And not only that, but he has to come to terms with how long she'd been hiding her illness from him.

But even so, she'd barely heard a word from him. Through the grapevine (Dan to Nate to Serena to Blair), she'd been told that Addie had moved back to California, because her apartment's renovation was complete. Blair had found herself having mixed feelings about Adelaide's departure. She'd have been blind not to notice how deep their friendship was, and she knows Dan must be missing her terribly already. On top of his mother's death, she's almost positive he's feeling another hard blow of loss. But although Blair had found Addie to be incredibly sweet and fun to be around, she couldn't help but think she was in the way. She needs to get to a place with Dan where he can finally trust her again. He needs to let her tell him the truth.

He needs to hear _her_ side of the story.

She knows it'll take a bit of time to get there, though, so she pushes it into the back of her mind for the time being. According to Nate, Dan had been holeing himself up in his apartment with Penny, never going out anywhere besides his office. And although it breaks her heart, she doesn't want to overstep their boundaries.

So she does nothing; they're _not_ together, after all.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Blair?" comes Tabitha's voice, prompting Blair to drop her phone immediately. She quietly, but quickly, strides to her boss's office.

"Yes, Tabitha?" she asks from the doorway.

Her boss looks up, diverting her attention away from her notes. "I need you to find a guy for our 'Men with Style' issue. It's for the article that follows a man around the city. You know...document how he shops, what he buys, and so forth. You're writing it."

She holds in a gasp. Keeping cool, she says, "Okay. Who are you thinking? Channing? Ryan? Or more B-List, perhaps?" She opens her own notepad to write the assignment details down.

Leaning back in her chair, Tabitha crosses her arms and purses her lips in thought. "I was actually thinking about a...non-celebrity for this specific article. The rest of the issue will be filled with them, but I wanted to go a different route for this piece."

Surprised, Blair raises her eyebrows. "Really?" At Tabitha's nod, she continues, "Well, I think that's a fabulous idea. Totally unexpected, but very relatable. It fits perfectly with our brand essence of showing off fashionable "real" people."

"Exactly," Tabitha agrees, pushing back her chair to stand. Blair watches as she walks over to her expansive window, looking out at the busy city below. From their high vantage point, only muffled car horns sound through the walls, but even in the quiet office, the vibrancy of the city still shines through. "I want a man who is successful in his profession, has a great group of friends, and who has a keen sense of style."

"Single or married?" Blair asks, as she continues jotting the rest of the criteria down.

"Doesn't matter." Tabitha pauses. "Actually...single. I want a guy who is responsible for his own wardrobe."

"Okay," Blair says, reading over the list. "Anything else?"

"Yes. This _is_ a fashion magazine after all," Tabitha says, a slow smile making its way across her face. "He needs to be _gorgeous._"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Throwing her purse on Blair's kitchen island, Greer groans. "Fuck, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey." It's just after ten at night, and they're just getting home from the office. Greer had made up some excuse about how her apartment was too far, so they'd decided on a sleepover.

At her friend's announcement, Blair rolls her eyes. "Honestly, Greer. Sometimes I think you speak that way on purpose, to make absolute sure I don't understand you."

"Sorry!" Greer says for manners sake, with no apology laced into her tone. "I'm just starving. What've you got in here?" She helps herself to Blair's fridge, not waiting permission.

"Not much. I haven't gone to the market yet this week. I was going to go later tonight, but it's obviously too late for that now." She reaches up to take out her earrings. "I think I have some clean berries in the fridge or some cashews in the cupboard. We can order something in a bit to be delivered."

Greer turns around with three Oreos in her hand and one stuffed in her mouth.

At the sight, Blair lets out a laugh. "Good god, Greer. I bought those for Dorota's kids, not _you!_"

"But they're _divine_," she drawls, taking a bite out of the second cookie. She passes one to Blair, who takes the cookie purely for the sake of not having to watch Greer devour it. She twists it open, eating the circle with no frosting first.

"Okay," she breathes out in resign. "These _are_ really good. Especially after the day I've had." She eats the other half in two bites and washes her crumb-covered hands.

"Yeah, speaking of that. What's this new article Tabitha has you working on? Why's it giving you such trouble?" Greer asks, settling herself on one of the counter stools. "I can't believe you get to write an article finally!"

Blair smiles at her friend's support. "Thanks, I'm thrilled too!" Pouring two glasses of wine, she explains, "It's for the 'Men with Style' issue. She wants me to pick a guy and follow him around while he's shops...documenting everything he picks up, touches, tries on..._everything_." After taking a long sip of wine, she feels her shoulders relax and digs into her briefcase to hand Greer her notes. "I just have no idea who to pick! I've been wracking my brain all day and no one's come to mind."

The notes aren't in Greer's hands for ten seconds before Blair recognizes the look that comes across her face. Turning away to avoid it, she takes the opportunity to walk into her bedroom and change out of her work clothes.

"Blair." The voice comes from the doorway.

"Yes?" she answers, feigning innocence as she walks into her bathroom.

"You and I both know the perfect guy for this," Greer says, waving the notes in her hand. "You've been complaining for weeks about not having an excuse to call him. This is your excuse!"

Blair's jaw drops, protesting. "I have not!" she says, yanking off her sweater.

Greer raises an eyebrow. "Blair...he's _the_ guy. He's stylish, successful, and in charge of his own wardrobe. Not to mention, a total hottie."

"Don't call him that," Blair frowns, exhaling a loud sigh. "Fine, I'll call him. But I'll have you know...a _lot_ of his wardrobe is thanks to _me._"

At her surrender, Greer claps her hands excitedly. "Yay! Oh, you have _no_ idea how long I've waited for this to happen!" Greer says, flopping down on Blair's bed.

"Oh, stop. How can anything happen?" Blair laughs, walking out of her closet in jeans and a knitted wrap sweater. "You're forgetting there's another person coming with us."

Sitting up, Greer's eyes squint in confusion. "What? Who?"

Shaking her head with an amused grin, Blair points to her friend. "_You."_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

She still can't believe he's agreed to do the article, and from the moment he says _yes_ to the moment she leaves her apartment to meet him a few days later, she's a nervous wreck. They haven't been alone together since their lunch, and because it's been at least a few weeks since she'd last seen him, she knows it'll probably be a bit awkward.

But standing at his door now, she feels much better about the day ahead—excited, even.

After knocking, she hears his voice calling, _coming!_ before opening the door. Once he appears, she realizes how much she's missed him. He still has the same effect on her.

Blair smiles widely. "Hey."

"Hey yourself."

She's relieved to see he's looking significantly more like himself than the way he looked at the funeral. He no longer has dark circles under his eyes or tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. The most striking difference, however, is his smile. It's there.

He looks behind him, "I need a few more minutes. Is that okay?"

She nods and looks at her watch. "Of course. I'm early anyway," she says, blushing slightly. "I brought you coffee. I know we're starting pretty early." She hands over the extra cup.

He smiles. "Nah, I was up early with Pen anyway. But thanks! Come on in." He steps aside to allow her room to pass, shutting the door swiftly behind him. At the sight of Blair, Penny bounces over to her, immediately losing her balance and sliding across the hardwood floors with her paws splayed about. Blair can't help but chuckle at the pup, whose tail is wagging so fast, she gets dizzy looking at it.

"Hi Pen," she says laughing, crouching down to pet the dog. Her fur is so soft, Blair—embarrassingly—aches to bury her nose in the puppy's neck. That is, until Penny starts to lick her hand. "Does she ever tire out?" Blair asks, standing to go wash her hands. She notices Dan is seated at his desk, working away at his computer.

"Doesn't seem like it," he answers absent-mindedly, finishing whatever he was typing with a firm _tap._ From her view in the kitchen, she watches as he closes a few browsers and shuts his computer down. "Sorry, I just needed to answer a couple work emails." Walking over to his kitchen table, he grabs his phone and slips it in his pocket. "Okay…where's Pen?"

The answer is at Blair's feet, sitting perfectly with her tail brushing back and forth on the floor, looking upward at the brunette.

"I think she likes you," Dan laughs. "She never sits still like that."

Looking down at the adorable puppy dog eyes, Blair feels her love grow even further for the animal. This damn dog is going to be the death of her.

With a wry smile, Blair agrees, "Apparently."

"Well, she's gotta go in her cage. Come on Pen! Here girl!" Holding out a treat, Dan beckons her over, giving her some loving pats before locking her in a small, wired cage. Penny protests at once, letting out pathetic wimpers that make a pained expression come across Dan's face. "Ugh, she _knows_ what her crying does to me. She hates that thing." When he takes a step towards the cage, Blair rolls her eyes.

"Seriously? The _dog's_ supposed to be the one on a tight leash, not _you_," she teases. "Before you decide to leave this apartment with her free to roam about, think about how much you like your furniture."

Blair hears him sigh, but smiles when he leaves the dog and walks over to the front door. "After you," he says after opening it, gesturing for her to lead.

When they're on the sidewalk, he brings a hand through his hair nervously and asks, "So what am I supposed to do again? Shop?"

"Shop, try things on, point out your favorite stores. I suppose you don't _have_ to buy anything…but we just want to follow a successful, career man as he navigates his way through one of the largest fashion capitals of the world." She tucks a loose curl behind her ear and looks up at him, challenging. "Do you think you can do that?"

"I can try," he says, giving a smirk that weakens her knees.

"Fabulous. Just tell me where the first stop is, so I can text Greer where to meet us."

"Oh, Greer's tagging along?"

"Yeah," she answers, detecting disappointment in his tone, and takes out her cell. "We need to photograph it all."

"Oh, right. Well…let's start at the predictable places," he says, raising his hand to flag a cab.

**.**

**.**

**.**

She isn't happy with his first store choice, but bites her tongue and rolls with it.

From the moment he walks into the store, he takes his time—something Blair remembers _very _clearly about him. When they were together, she'd beg and plead that he'd go shopping with her every time Serena couldn't. He would tease and poke fun, saying she just wanted someone to hold her bags and purse for her. Although that had been a plus, she simply had just enjoyed his company. But on the rare days that they would go shopping just for _him_, Dan would meander his way through the each store, spending much more time than necessary; he would literally look at every item on the racks and shelves, from the floor all the way up to the ceiling.

So when they begin the day at Urban Outfitters, Blair isn't the least bit surprised to see his shopping habits haven't changed. The problem with this particular store, however, is that not only does it have clothes, but it also has shoes, books, techie gifts, and home décor. The music is blaring at an obnoxiously loud level through the speakers, squealing tweens are flitting from one rack to the other, and the amount of plaid and flannel in the space is borderline claustrophobic. But seeing Dan in his own world—just having the chance to observe him from afar—outweighs all the downsides. Just being in his presence again is enough.

Greer, who had somehow beaten them there, begins snapping away at once. Following the pair around the store, Blair finds that Dan is not the only one who captures her attention. Seeing Greer work _outside_ of a studio setting—one that requires poses and lighting changes—is just as fascinating. She starts out predictably, taking normal, full-length shots of Dan: photos of him leafing through hung shirts, thumbing through book pages, and trying on shoes. But the pictures she snaps low from the ground, or the ones with her camera turned in unexpected angles, are the ones Blair yearns to see the most.

Dan doesn't buy anything from Urban, but he does buy a new pair of shoes from Bloomingdales, their second stop. They continue travelling from store to store in their little trio, with Dan fully embracing his role as "shopper." He explains as he browses, making comments on why he would buy something, and why he wouldn't. Wanting to remember every detail of his shopping behavior, Blair jots down everything: from the styles his gravitates towards the most, to the pieces and fabrics that make him cringe. She rolls her eyes when he drags them to a hat shop where, as much as she'd hate to admit it, he tries on a fedora that makes him look more attractive than ever before.

The conversation throughout the day is still a touch safer than normal, but almost like the old days. Their quick banter practically gives Greer whiplash, and she can see why Blair and Dan would work so perfectly together. Even if they won't both admit it, Greer notices the flirtatious air that seems to float over every conversation they have, and she eats up the opportunity to photograph it. Unconsciously, Dan seems just as smitten with Blair as she is with him.

When they go into the sunglass section of a store, in which Dan calls the "best kept secret of New York," Blair has to take off her sweater, her face flushed.

"I actually thought it was quite cold in here," Greer taunts, giving a knowing look that tells Blair: _down girl. _Blair resists the urge to give her the finger.

By the end of the day, Blair's actually proud of herself that through their entire shopping expedition, she hadn't _once_ looked at anything for herself. Fully recognizing that this article could be the break she's been waiting for, she's taken every moment seriously. Aside from the thirty-minute lunch they took, she hadn't stopped writing all day. But after thumbing through her notebook, and noticing Dan browsing at styles she's already made note of, she decides there isn't any more info that could be packed into the article. Besides...her hand hurts, she's starving, and the designer dress she's been lusting after for weeks is hanging at the front of the store.

"I have to call into a conference for a few minutes," Greer says, walking up to the bench where Blair is seated. "Text me if he does anything worth…" She finishes the sentence by miming a camera taking a picture and makes a clicking noise with her tongue.

Blair waves her off. "I think we're pretty much done for the day. You can just head home," she says, standing to hug her friend goodbye. "Thanks for tagging along! I think it's going to turn out really great."

"Cool. I'll see ya tomorrow?"

"Yup," Blair says, tucking her notebook in her purse. "Have a good night!"

Once Greer is out of the store, Blair wastes no time grabbing the long-desired dress. She sighs happily when she finds her size, and admires the exquisite detailing as she walks into the dressing room. Pulling back the privacy curtain to the first room, she gasps when she runs into a warm body.

A _bare_ warm body.

Stepping away, she's both thankful and horrified to be standing in front of a shirtless Dan Humphrey. Her momentary feeling of relief that it's _not _a stranger she's walked in on is quickly over when her eyes travel south—he's wearing only briefs.

Instead of backing up against the curtain opening she'd come through, she's somehow up against the wall—trapped between the mirror and a practically-naked Dan. He's so close, she can feel the heat radiate off his sculpted, utterly tempting body.

Whatever reaction she'd expected him to have is _not_ what she's getting.

Instead of looking angry or confused, he looks…_needy_. His eyes rake over her form, starting from her legs to her face, pausing only when his gaze lands on her mouth. Unconsciously, she licks her lips, not surprised to find them suddenly dry. His eyes darken at the sight of her tongue, and she doesn't miss the way he swallows at the image.

She knows this moment between them is just going to complicate things further, but she finds herself not caring anymore. All she knows is that he's closer now, close enough for his breath to caress her face, and if he leans forward just a bit more—

"My. Humphrey? I have the shoe sizes you requested for out in shoe department," comes the sales woman's voice, throwing a bucket of ice water on whatever fire was spreading between them.

He's standing against the opposite wall now, pulling on his shirt and jeans, and leaving as fast as he can.

Blair barely registers when he's gone, her mind only snapping back to reality when a rush of cold air fills the small room. Her body thrums with unsatisfied needs, her chest heaves with want, and she reaches up to find her forehead slightly damp. She tries the dress on in a daze, taking her time to delay whatever conversation is going to happen on the other side of the curtain.

When she finally does venture back into the main rack area, her heart drops.

Sitting on the shoe sofa, having what looks to be a wonderfully pleasant conversation, is Dan and Tabitha.

"Tabitha?" Blair says in confusion, wondering what her boss is going in the store...talking to _Dan. _

"Oh Blair! There you are!" her superior says, standing to peck her on the cheek. Blair backs up...she's never seen Tabitha like this. Her face is blushed, her eyes are dazzled, and she looks totally taken by Dan.

"I thought I'd come by and see how the day went! Greer texted me where you were."

Blair makes a mental note to kill her Aussie friend. "Oh, it went great! We were actually just getting ready to leave. We're all done. Dan?" She looks at him expectantly, hoping he gets her memo of _follow me._

"Oh that's a shame. We were just getting to know each other," Tabitha says, practically batting her eyelashes at Dan.

"Yeah, um, actually..." He looks at Blair, his gaze locking on her eyes for a moment, before looking back at her boss. Blair holds her breath when he speaks. "I actually don't need to go right now. Tabitha, would you like to get a drink with me? Or would that be weird, Blair?"

Through unfocused eyes, she sees them both look at her, waiting for her answer. Tabitha's expression reads somewhere between _remember who I am_ and _help a girl out! _

"Of course it's not weird!" Blair says, hoping they can't detect the straining in her voice. "Have a great time! I'll see you tomorrow, Tabitha. Bye Dan."

She gives one final wave and walks at a normal pace to the door, where she half-hazardly throws the stunning dress on a random rack.

Walking out on the sidewalk, she ignores the way her throat tightens and her eyes burn.

She wanted him to be happy, right?

Well if this is what makes him happy, she'll stay out of his way.

**.**

**.**

tbc

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I feel like a broken record, because I say the same thing every time. I'm sorry it's taken so long to update this fic. My absence is due to a number of reasons, ones that I won't bore you with, but I'm still so appreciative of everyone who's still reading. Hopefully I haven't lost too many of you. **

**I know FF is cracking down on the ratings/content of stories. I've always posted my fics on livejournal as well, so in the event that my stories are taken down, you can still find them there. The link is in my profile. And to be safe, I've also changed almost all of my fic's ratings to M. (Even though my more mature scenes tend to be on the tame side...)**

**While I'm here: if you read the Hunger Games, I wrote a little oneshot a few weeks ago for Katniss/Peeta if you're interested in seeing how I write outside of Dan & Blair :)**

**I always love reviews, so if you have time...please tell me what you thought of this chapter! It also lets me know how many of you are still reading :)**


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><em>8:43 am<em>, Blair notes.

Tabitha is officially thirteen minutes late to work.

In the two years that Blair has worked for Tabitha Hutton, she has never witnessed the woman be late. The Cat is a machine, and _of fucking course_ she's late _this _morning.

The morning after her date with Dan.

Grinding her teeth, Blair decides to busy her mind.

She checks her email, even though she's checked four times since arriving to work and already knows it's empty. She refills her coffee, even though half of her first serving is still in its mug. She listens to the voice messages again, even though she's already made a note about getting the nail polish samples back from Wardrobe. She rearranges her desk supplies, because her pens should be _here_ and her files should be over _there._

She glances at the clock again.

_8:50 am._

Fuck.

All last night, she couldn't get Dan out of her mind. Once she'd left the store, she had called Greer to meet her back at her apartment with a bottle of wine and a box of tissues. She hates the entire situation. She hates that she still needs him. She hates that she still wants him.

She hates that she still loves him.

She _hates_ that Tabitha could have kissed him. Or _worse_...have sex with him. The thought makes her want to throw up her breakfast.

Just as she refills her third cup of coffee, she hears Tabitha walk through the door.

"Blair," she barks out, strolling quickly into her office. "Please come in here."

Once Blair enters her office, Tabitha fires questions immediately. "Any messages from David? I'm waiting on one. And have you written your piece yet? I need to see that as soon as possible. Tell Greer the same thing about the photographs. They must be on my desk by this afternoon."

Crossing her arms, she leans against her desk and looks at Blair expectantly.

Formulating a response as fast as possible, Blair replies, "No messages from David, but I'll give his office a call once I'm back at my desk. As for the piece I'm writing...are you referring to the one from yesterday? About Dan?"

Tabitha purses her lips, clearly frustrated by the question. "That would be the one."

"Right," Blair says. "Well, I've just finished sorting through my notes, so I'll begin writing it this morning. I already have a vision of how I want it to read, so it shouldn't take long." Tabitha looks content with that answer, so she lets out a breath. It's now or never. "So...how was your evening?"

Tabitha raises her eyebrows and cocks her head to the side, the tell-tale sign that she's annoyed. "I'm not going to discuss my date with you, Blair. What are we, in sixth grade? My private life is my private life."

Taken back, and a little embarrassed, Blair shakes her head. "Oh, of course. I didn't mean to pry, Tabitha. You just seemed excited about Dan last night, so I wanted to see how it went." She inspects her nail polish, so she doesn't have to look at her boss. "I'll just...go tell Greer you need the pictures right away."

She's almost out of the room when she hears Tabitha's voice. "Blair?"

"Yes?" she answers, before turning back around.

"Before you do anything..." A blush makes its way to Tabitha's cheeks as she takes off her jacket.

Blair feels like the wind is knocked out of her. Her boss is wearing the same clothes she wore the day before.

Tabitha's voice lowers; she's clearly embarrassed. "Could you run by wardrobe and grab me an outfit? You know my size." She eyes the door warily. "And do _not_ mention one word about what it's for."

It takes Blair a moment to regain her voice. "Of course."

Backing out of her office, Blair shuts the door and races to wardrobe. She barely looks Tabitha in the eyes when she hands over a new outfit, still in complete shock, before bee-lining it down to the photo department. She spots her Aussie friend immediately. "Greer! Thank god you're here."

"Well _hello_ to you too," Greer says in a snarky tone, before taking a seat at her desk. "And of course I'm _here._ We came to work together not even an hour ago."

Her eyes flash an impatient glare. "Please...stop your mouth from moving."

Greer raises a brow, clearly understanding Blair's mood. "What's your problem?"

"The date." Her voice breaks.

"What date?"

Tapping her heels in frustration, Blair gives Greer an _Are you kidding me?_ look.

"Ohh. Right. _That_ date" she replies, hoping Blair detects the sarcasm.

Blair takes a breath. "They slept together."

Greer's eyes widen. "That fucking Cat."

"Or...I think they did."

"Wait," Greer says, suddenly confused. "What do you mean you 'think?'"

Sighing, Blair throws up her arms. "I don't know! She came into work and was especially frosty to me, which is...confusing, since she was so happy that I," she gestures air quotes, "_set them up _last night."

"Okay..."

"But she also—" Her voice falters.

Greer's eyes soften. "What, Blair?"

She clears her throat, hoping it'll stop the ache. "She was wearing the same outfit she had on yesterday," Her eyes meet Greer's, "and last night."

Slowly, Greer asks, "Are you telling me that Tabitha Hutton, editor-in-chief of _Elle Magazine_, exercised the Walk of Shame...to _work?_"

Blair just closes her eyes.

"Not only is that completely unprofessional, but...are you fucking _kidding_ me?! I mean...that she'd have the _nerve_ to rub it in your face!" She shakes her head. "I'm sorry Blair. That's just...wow."

Feeling a headache coming on, Blair massages her temples and takes a deep breath. "I need to talk to him. Because for some reason...I'm not convinced."

"What do you mean?"

"She was a _completely_ different person than she was yesterday. She was practically biting my head off." When Greer opens her mouth to respond, she cuts her off. "And I _know_ that's not totally uncharacteristic of Tabitha, but she was acting like whatever happened last night was...my fault. In a bad way. She didn't have that post-coital glow that I've seen on her some mornings after she's had sex." She worries her bottom lip between her teeth; thinking. Frowning, she continues, "And if she slept with Dan...she would have never stopped smiling from the time she woke up, so her behavior makes no sense. Trust me."

Drumming her fingers against her desk, Greer contemplates everything. "So...what are you going to do?" she asks.

"Write my article." With a decisive nod, Blair stands and straightens her skirt. "The first thing I'm going to do is write my article. Then I'm going to do everything Tabitha asks me to do and then meet Serena after work."

Surprised at her answer, Greer looks at her warily. "O...kay..."

Sliding the vacant chair back into place, Blair feels the tension leave her shoulders. "I'm going to make myself crazy if I think about it all day, Greer, so I'm going to force myself not to. I'm going to write the best piece _Elle_ has ever seen and then go have a mock-tail with my best friend."

"And Dan?"

"And then I'll talk to Dan."

Feeling more confident about the entire situation, she starts to head back to her desk. At the doorway, she turns. "Oh, I almost forgot. Tabitha needs the photos of Dan by this afternoon," she says with a loving smile, knowing full well it'll do nothing to stop the expletives that'll be thrown at her by Greer. "Can't wait to see them!"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Hey B!" Serena says as she opens the door.

At the sight of her friend, Blair stifles a gasp. Not only because she's _just_ the person Blair wants to see after the day she's had, but...her friend is literally radiant.

Serena Archibald is the expectant mother every pregnant woman aches to be. She looks exactly the same, save for the tiny swell in her midsection, and is absolutely glowing. Everything about her—from her hair to her skin—is positively lustrous.

"My _god_ S! You look stunning!" Blair remarks, eyes studying her friend's form. "Please tell me you're considering becoming a maternity model, because you'd be a fool not to."

Serena lets out an embarrassed laugh. "Stop, B! I'm perfectly fine with my career as a realtor," she replies, before pausing. "But I'll keep my options open," she jokes. Her smile softens and she leans in to embrace Blair. "Thank you."

"How do you feel?" Blair asks as she pulls away to take off her coat.

Leading Blair into the kitchen, Serena lets out a happy sigh. "I feel wonderful! Since passing the five-month mark, I'm no longer exhausted, my energy's back, and I'm not as hormonal. Nate was up to _here_ with me," she says, bringing her hand up above her head.

"Please," Blair scoffs. "He's never been more in love with you than he is right now. Not only do you look more gorgeous than normal—which is _totally_ unfair by the way—but you're carrying his child. Believe me...he's _loving_ this. He can barely keep his hands off you." And then, as if an inner lightbulb has gone off, she huffs out a laugh. "Oh my gosh! This explains your behavior at the dinner with Dan and Adelaide!"

"What do you mean?" Serena asks coyly, taking a sip of the mock-tail she'd made for them.

"You two were insatiable that night, remember? You left early..."

Serena just shrugs, but her smile is wide as ever. "Whatever. The point is...I'm feeling _great_."

"Obviously," Blair laughs, rolling her eyes. "But I'm so excited for you both! I haven't asked yet...are you finding out what you're having?"

Serena shakes her head. "Nope. _I_ wanted to, but Nate wants to be surprised. But oh my gosh, B. You should see what he got for the baby." She gestures Blair to follow her, and leads the way up the stairs and down the hall. "He went to his grandfather's house and brought it back. He had it waiting for me in the nursery as a surprise."

Opening the door slowly, Serena steps aside for Blair to walk in. Immediately, her eyes fill with tears. Nestled in the corner of the nursery is a white rod-iron crib. It looks vintage and absolutely darling.

"Isn't it sweet? It was his when he was a baby." She traces her fingers along the edge, her eyes watering at the thought of her husband. "I had someone from the baby store come by and inspect it, because it's so old, and she said we could definitely use it. I love it."

"It's perfect, S," Blair replies softly, wiping her eyes to get a better look at the room. "Is it bad that I really hope you have a girl?"

Serena lets out a watery laugh and presses her hand gently to her stomach. "Is it bad that _I_ hope I have a girl?"

Wrapping her arm around Blair's shoulders, she leads them back downstairs to the kitchen. "So..." she begins, once she's settled on one of the counter stools, "What's the latest with you and Dan?"

Groaning, Blair buries her face in her hands. "There's a fifty percent chance he slept with my boss."

Serena's eyes widen. "_What?!"_

"But..." Blair interrupts, "there's a fifty percent chance he didn't!"

"Start at the beginning B."

Blair tells her about the entire day before: from meeting Dan at his apartment, to what happened in each store, to their heated moment in the dressing room.

"And then he just left with her?" Serena asks in disbelief, stirring her drink.

"Yeah. Her tone made it pretty clear that she'd make my life hell if I didn't let them go."

"Gosh. So what are you going to do?"

Flattening both palms on the counter, Blair thinks for a moment. "I'm going to ask him what happened."

Unconvinced, Serena questions, "Seriously? You're just going to go over there and ask him straight up?"

"Yes. What is the big deal—"

"Hello?" a voice interrupts before Nate appears in the doorway. His face brightens at the sight of both women. "Evening, ladies," he says before walking over to his wife.

"Hi Nate."

"Hi babe," Serena says, leaning up to kiss him. "How was your day?"

"Good. Better now." He winks and kisses her again, before lifting the bag in his hands. "I brought home dinner."

When she catches the logo, she nearly squeals. "From Parm?! Oh, I love you!"

"B, are you staying for dinner?" Nate asks, holding up a third plate. "I brought home plenty."

The smell of fresh Italian wafts through the kitchen, and as much as she wants to stay, she knows she needs to talk to Dan before she changes her mind. "I wish I could, but I'm going to have to take a rain check. Besides, I don't think you'll need me to help you finish all this food," she says, eyeing Serena.

"Your loss, B." Serena says, standing to hug her friend goodbye. "You sure about this?"

Blair nods. "Yeah."

"Okay. Then call me to let me know how it goes."

"Of course," Blair promises, before walking with Nate to the front door. "She showed me the crib, Nate. It's...perfect."

He smiles in gratitude, before saying, "Well...so is she." She hugs him for that, because how could she _not?_ And with a wave goodbye, she's out the door and in the elevator.

Her evening is far from over.

**.**

**.**

**.**

After her incessant knocking, he finally opens the door.

She doesn't give him time to greet her. "We need to talk."

Previously frozen in place, he takes a second to catch up. "Right now, Blair? It's late, it's..." He glances at his watch. "...only seven-thirty? God, I'm getting old."

"You and me both," she smiles. "Can I come in?"

He steps aside and gestures her in. "What did you want to talk about?"

She stops in the middle of his living room and faces him. "You're going to be annoyed that I'm asking this, since we've already sort of had this conversation when Addie was in town, and it's none of my business..." It's obvious she's stalling and rambling, so she just cuts to the chase. "Did you—"

"Have sex with Tabitha?"

Her eyes whip to his. "What? I wasn't going to—why would you assume I was asking—"

His expression shows that he can read _right_ through her.

"_Fine!_ That's what I wanted to know. But in my defense, I think _you'd_ want to know if I was sleeping with _your_ boss," she retorts smartly, crossing her arms.

"Yes...I would. Because he's seventy-three and I'd be a little concerned for you."

She narrows her eyes in warning.

"I actually don't mind that you asked, surprisingly," he says, making his way over to the couch. "I didn't have sex with her."

Even though she knew there was a chance of this outcome, she still sighs in relief. "Oh. Okay." She clears her throat. "But she just...slept here?"

He looks at her, and his confusion is obvious. "What? No. Why would you think that?"

"She came into work wearing the same outfit she was wearing yesterday."

His jaw drops slightly. "Wow. She actually went _home _with that guy?"

"What guy?"

Chuckling, he rubs his chin. "She was making passes at the bartender all night, and when I called her out on it, she freaked. It was pretty bad."

Laughing, Blair takes a seat next to him on the couch. "Unbelievable."

"Yeah. I left after one drink."

Going over it all in her mind, she shakes her head. "And here I spent my whole day worrying about—" She stops, catching herself.

"Worrying about what?" He shifts in his seat, and suddenly they're much closer than before. He smells so good, her eyes drift closed. "Blair."

She opens them. "I just...I didn't want you to sleep with her. That's all."

"Oh." He continues to stare at her, and swallows when she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Her neck was always his weakness. "Well...now you won't have to worry about it. I won't be sleeping with her."

In a daze, she somehow makes herself nod and answer, "Good."

When her phone makes a sound, they're brought back to reality. The screen tells her it's an email from Tabitha. How ironic.

"I should go," she says, before making her way to the door. "I'm finishing the article tomorrow, so I'll email it to you once it's done. You can read over it before I send it to print."

"Okay, great."

Feeling a sudden rush of confidence, she walks over to him and kisses his cheek. "Goodnight Dan."

"Goodnight Blair."

She smiles all the way home.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**tbc**

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><p><strong>AN: Any readers still there? I have a million reasons why it took me so long to update. I feel awful about the wait. But for those who keep asking: NO, I won't leave this unfinished.**

**This story is winding down! Next chapter will set the stage for the truth: what really happened all those years ago.**

**I would so appreciate reviews! I hope everyone is well :)**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm sorry I haven't replied to your reviews yet. Thanks for telling me your thoughts...I appreciated every one of them!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

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><p><em><strong>One month later<strong>_

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

Blair wakes up to her phone ringing.

She groans and rubs the sleep away from her eyes, before turning to her bedside table clock.

Six in the morning.

Her vision is blurry from sleep, but she just makes out _Serena Archibald_ on her phone.

Sighing, she mumbles, "Hello?"

"Morning, B!" Serena sing-songs through the receiver.

Blair closes her eyes. "If you aren't in labor, there's no reason why you should be calling me this early in the morning."

Laughing, Serena responds, "B, don't say that! I'm not due for another three months! I need to keep this babe cooking."

She groans again, but this time out of guilt. "Sorry. But seriously, why are you up so early?"

"Pregnancy insomnia. And since Nate is waking up with me, I've apparently forgotten that the rest of the world sleeps past six. Sorry."

Blair sits up against the headboard and pulls the covers up to keep herself warm. "It's ok. What's up?"

"Well, I was thinking that..." She takes a breath and rushes the last part out, "Since you and Dan are on such great terms maybe the four of us can go out tonight?"

"Who said we were on great terms?" Blair asks curiously.

"No one. It's just—" Serena lets out a defeated sigh. "You two have been hanging out lately and it's been...undramatic."

"That's not a word, Serena."

"Save the grammar lesson, B," she chides. "_Not_ dramatic, then. Whatever. You _know_ what I'm talking about."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Blair shrugs. "S, we have only been spending time together for work purposes, and we were in public. Even if we did argue, we purely _didn't_ for the sake of not making a scene."

"That hasn't stopped you two before," Serena retorts under her breath. Then, to guilt-trip her friend, she lets out a long, dramatic sigh. "_Fine_. We won't go. I'll just satisfy my croque-monsieur craving with just Nate _yet again_. Or maybe I'll see if Dan wants to bring someone else."

This perks her up. "No. I'll go."

"Yay!" Serena squeals. "Reservations are at seven at Pastis."

"It's a good thing I like that restaurant," Blair mutters, throwing back her covers and getting out of bed. "Okay. Now that I'm awake an hour before I usually am, I'm going to go drink my coffee and read the paper for once."

"Ok, I'll let you go. Thanks again, B! See you tonight!"

"Yeah, and S?" Blair stops in her tracks.

"What?"

"Stop playing the pregnancy card!" she says with a smirk, then ends the call.

**.**

**.**

**.**

He's five minutes early, but since it's a nice night, he waits outside. His day had been stressful and he's so tired he could sleep for a month, but this is just what he needs: a night out with his best friends. Blair still falls under that category, especially given the past few weeks. He'll always be attracted to her, and yes...he still loves her. But things between them have been normal. They haven't really flirted, (other than that one moment in the dressing room), or even toyed with the idea of getting back together. He's been telling himself that that's a good thing: they're both beginning to move on.

When she turns the corner, he nearly laughs at himself.

They are _anything_ but over.

She looks so fabulous his mouth goes dry. She's wearing a fitted black dress, paired with stilettos that showcase her amazing legs. Her curls are tousled, giving her hair a messy, volumized look. Her makeup is subtle, but flawless: cheeks dabbed with a rosy blush, eyes lined with noir, and lips painted the rubiest of reds. Utter perfection.

If it weren't for what she did to him all those years ago, he would surrender their little tête-à-tête, skip the meal, and have his way with her.

He clears his throat the best he can. "Evening, Blair."

"Good evening, Humphrey," she replies back, her eyes sparkling a little. He smirks; she hasn't called him that in years.

"Are Serena and Nate here yet?" she asks, looking through the windows to peer inside the restaurant.

"No, not yet." His eyes haven't left her face. "Want to get a drink while we wait?" he asks, inwardly acknowledging he's just torturing himself.

"Sure."

When she turns to walk into the bar, his hand unconsciously comes up to rest on her back. The room is busy and he doesn't want anyone to run into her, and...okay, he just really wants to touch her.

"Rosé, please," she orders politely, before smiling at Dan so he can order for himself.

They don't speak until their drinks are served; they just sit in silence staring at each other.

"So," Blair begins, "how's work?"

Dan waits until he's taken a sip of his drink before answering. "It's ok. Pretty busy this week. We're doing a double issue, so there are twice as many deadlines and meetings." He laughs to himself. "Which means twice as many people _missing_ those deadlines."

"Oh, double issues..." she remarks knowingly, before taking a sip of her bubbly wine. "Every September I consider taking a leave of absence from the magazine, simply because everyone doesn't quite understand that double the pages equals _double the work_."

"I know, right?" He laughs again. "Even the interns aren't their normal ass-kissing selves. I expected this of my main staff, but _them_?"

"Hard to believe _we_ were one of those ass-kissing interns once," Blair muses quietly, sounding much sadder than she'd planned.

"Yeah," he replies, mind wandering back to all those years ago. A moment passes before he says, "They were some of the best few months."

She turns to him and tilts her head, silently asking him to clarify.

"At W."

"Oh." Blair nods. And then because she can't help herself: "Why?"

He shrugs as he takes another sip. "That's when I finally got to know the real you."

At his answer, and his unwavering gaze on her, her heart starts to pound. She licks her lips. "I—"

"Hey guys!"

Blair's reply stops at Nate's greeting. She turns to see the blonde couple with matching smiles and looks back to Dan. He gives her a look that says _what were you about to say?_ before standing to greet the pair.

"Hey man," Dan says, giving Nate's back a friendly slap, before leaning in to kiss Serena's cheek.

After exchanging hellos with Blair, they follow the hostess to their table. "Have you guys been waiting long?" Serena asks, smiling at Nate for pulling out her chair.

"No, not really," Blair answers, looking over to Dan.

He has to find a way to tear his gaze away, yet again, and is happy to have an excuse when the waiter hands him a menu. Blair is invading every one of his senses and he's doing nothing to stop it. Clearing his throat—and mind—he looks down at his menu and asks, "So, what's good here?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Hours later and dinner long gone, Dan sits back in his chair, full from the meal. He can't tell if he's a little buzzed from the wine (although he only had two glasses) or from...contentment. It's been a while since the four of them has had dinner; their schedules were always hard to match up, and when they _did_ get together, another friend was always there. He'd loved when Addie was in town, and has grown to like Nate's work buddies and Greer. But there was nothing like the four of them.

He smiles as he listens to Nate talk animatedly about the time he lost Serena on their honeymoon in Venice. They'd spent two weeks traveling around Italy, and after a night of too much wine and not enough food, he'd left her on a bench while he flagged a cab. There were apparently none to be found, due to the torrential rain, and he'd had to walk farther than anticipated.

"When I finally waved one down, I had the guy drive me back to the restaurant where she was sitting."

"Or so he thought," Serena cuts in, laughing.

"She wasn't there!" Nate says, throwing his hand in the air.

Giggling at the story, Blair takes the last sip of her rosé. "Where were you S?"

Blushing slightly, Serena bites her bottom lip to stop her smirk. "I _realllly_ wanted chocolate," she explains innocently, lifting her shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "So I went looking for some."

Shaking his head at his wife, Nate points to the plate the waiter is setting on the table. "And speaking of."

The waitress sets down a plate of ice-cream topped chocolate crêpes and a raspberry brûlée for the table to share. Serena immediately goes for chocolate, while Nate and Blair turn to the berry dish.

"Mmm," Blair hums, eyes rolling back and the taste. "This is amazing." She's got a bit of whipped cream on her bottom lip that's too distracting for Dan to even _think_. Her pink tongue darts out to lick it away, which doesn't help at all, and he needs to force himself to remember what they were all just talking about.

"So what happened next?" he asks, using his fork to take a small bite from Serena's plate. She shoots him a gentle glare before continuing the story.

"Well, after I didn't find any, I somehow found my way back to the restaurant. Natie was sitting there soaking wet and looking so worried—"

"The cabbie became impatient pretty quickly and drove off," he explains.

"But we turned the night around," Serena says, a blush gracing her face for an entirely new reason, before stealing a glance at her husband.

Dan groans. "Do I even _want _to ask?"

Nate winks at Serena, before turning to Blair and Dan. "Have you two ever had sex in an alleyway?"

"Nate!" Serena chides, burying her face in her hands to cover her laughter.

"I didn't necessarily mean them _together_," he replies, clarifying his previous words.

Blair, who'd nearly dropped her fork at Nate's question, just takes another casual bite of her dessert. Dan fights a smirk; she's avoiding the question entirely.

"No comment," Dan answers, putting the entire conversation to rest.

But when the check comes, and Nate and Serena are engrossed in asking the waiter to wrap up her leftovers, he looks back to Blair. Just from her eyes, he can tell she's thinking about their second date. The one where they'd barely made it through dinner they were so turned on. The one where they'd skipped dessert in order to get home as soon as possible. The one where they hadn't made it to a cab, but instead snuck into an alleyway so he could have his way with her.

Nate and Serena didn't need to know, but _yes_. They'd had sex in an alleyway. Together.

Even with the memory playing in his mind, he somehow remembers to hand Nate his credit card. Blair's eyes are still looking in his direction, but they seem focused on something far away.

After saying their goodbyes, and promising to make this a bi-monthly occasion, Nate and Serena head off in a cab.

Blair looks over at Dan. "Want to walk for a bit?" She lives close by.

"Sure."

They stroll in comfortable silence for a few blocks, just listening to the city move around about them. It's an unusually quiet night.

As they walk up the front stoop of her building, they both stall. "I'm glad we were able to do this. When the baby comes, I'm sure these dinners will be far and few between," Blair says, smiling at the thought of an Archibald baby.

"Yeah. God, I can't wait to watch them try to handle a child." She smiles at his harmless tease, and nods in agreement.

Dan brushes her hair off her shoulder. "You look beautiful."

Her cheeks turn pink. "Thank you."

He clears his throat. "So, um...what were you going to say earlier?" Her brow furrows in confusion. "About W?"

"Oh." She takes a breath and tucks a curl behind her ear. "I was just—I was just going to say that I had...no...idea what I was in for."

He steps closer to her and her heart starts to beat.

"When we first started working at W..." Her voice starts to shake; his gaze has dropped to her mouth. "I had no idea how much I would come to respect you, annoy you, frustrate you, need you, want you, love—"

Before she can finish her sentence, he captures her mouth with his. She's startled, and it takes her a moment to understand what he's doing before fully returning it. And when she does, she surrenders herself completely. She gasps at the intensity of the kiss; Dan's fingers rake through her curls, holding her head to keep her mouth molded to his. She bites his bottom lip and smirks when she hears him groan. Curling her fingers around his jacket lapels, she pulls him closer. The heat of his body is addicting and she feels the need to lean in more. His arms drop to her lower back, the same spot he touched earlier in the bar, and she feels his fingers lightly tease her waist. She adores when he's possessive. Her body buzzes with arousal, and when she feels his tongue gently probe hers, she lets out a whimper of pleasure. He tastes so familiar and it feels as if they've never stopped doing this—as if they haven't spent three years apart.

She leans away to take a breath and closes her eyes. "I miss you," she whispers, opening her eyes to look up at him. Her lips are just a breath away from his, and he can't help but kiss them again.

"I miss you too," he confesses.

They stand there for a moment, catching their breaths, before he steps back abruptly. "But I can't forgive you still. I'm still so..._angry_ with you Blair." He rubs his face with his hands. "I...I'm sorry. I should go." He turns and descends her front steps.

Watching him walk away, fear rises within her. She can't lose him again. Not when she just had him. Not when she knows they both still want each other.

He needs to hear what happened that night.

"I didn't kiss Chuck."

He stops in his tracks, frozen in place on the sidewalk for a moment. He spins around.

Sharply, he asks, _"What?"_

"I didn't even sleep with him." Her eyes stare right into his. "I never cheated on you."

**.**

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**.**

**tbc**

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><p><strong>AN: Are you surprised? Happy? Bummed? ;) I could never have her cheat! The full story to come in the next chapter...**

**I welcome all reviews!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own GG or any of its characters.**

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><p>"I didn't kiss Chuck."<p>

He stops in his tracks, frozen in place on the sidewalk for a moment. He spins around. Sharply, he asks, _"What?"_

"I didn't even sleep with him." Her eyes stare right into his. "I never cheated on you."

"I don't..." he clears his throat, "I don't understand, Blair." His voice is so, _so_ low.

"Come inside," she says, before turning to enter her building. Dan's still frozen in shock, but thaws enough to agree that they can't have this conversation on the sidewalk.

In the elevator ride up to her apartment, his mind is reeling. None of this is making any sense. How is this possible? How is _any_ of this possible?

Blair tears off her coat once her door shuts. It's a bit jarring to have Dan in her apartment, but she doesn't have time to focus on that fact. Not when she sees him walking towards her wine rack.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

He barely looks at her when he answers. "I have a feeling I'm going to need wine for this conversation."

She walks over and rips the bottle from his hands. "No, I need you sober for this."

He huffs out an annoyed breath. "Fine. Sit. Explain."

When they've both settled on the couch she barely knows where to begin. Taking a deep breath, she starts. "So, right after you said goodbye to me that night—"

"The day before our four-month anniversary." He looks at her with sad eyes. "I remember," he says quietly.

Her throat tightens. "Right. Well, right after you left...Chuck called me."

Dan's eyes close at his name and she sees him clench his fists.

She continues, "He called and asked if I could do him a favor. I—"

Dan laughs bitterly. "A favor? The fucking nerve of that guy."

"I know," Blair agrees. "I told him that. But he insisted that it was important. He said that some potential business partners were coming into town and asked to have dinner with him and his girlfriend Blair. They remembered me from a few years back."

"There's no way these guys didn't know of your marriage to Louis. You were on the cover of every newspaper in the world," Dan says, unbelieving.

Running her hands through her hair, she lifts her shoulders. "I know, Dan. I told him that. But apparently they assumed we'd gotten back together." He raises a brow at the excuse. "I thought it sounded odd as well, but...that's what he said." She waits for him to balk again, but he thankfully doesn't. "I immediately said no. I told him I was with you and he didn't deserve any help from me. But he sounded desperate, and kept insisting that _nothing_ would happen. He'd only hold my hand while entering the restaurant, and that's it. Dinner, drinks, no kissing, no PDA, _nothing._"

She looks down at her hands, the wall, the kitchen, _anywhere_ but him. "I thought it would be alright. I figured that if Serena needed help, you'd do it for her. I'd be fine with that. If nothing was going to happen, what was the harm?"

Dan lowers his head into his hands. "Blair, me helping Serena, my ex-girlfriend, is _significantly_ different than you helping Chuck." He looks up at her. "See, I didn't punch a window right next to Serena's face, or leave her at an airplane hanger, or, I don't know, sell her for a—"

"I _know_, okay? I know," she interrupts, tears lining her eyes. "Do you know how many times I've replayed that night in my mind? Do you know how many times I've played out the scene at the dinner table, with Chuck reaching for my knee under the table as he sips his _fourth _drink? Do you know how many times I replay when I got up from the table to leave early? Or when he followed me out into the alley behind the restaurant to save face and pretend we were having a lovers spat?" She wipes her eyes. "Do you know how many times I think about how he backed me into a wall to act out a passionate moment? And how when I tried to get away he put his lips to my neck?"

His eyes flare with anger at her words.

She takes a ragged breath. "Do you know how many times I replay that fucking camera flash? I knew in that moment it would be on Gossip Girl. And when it did get posted...the shame I felt...the embarrassment...the regret...the..." She can't think of another word to fit the emotions she felt that night. Trying to catch her breath, she stands up and walks away from the couch. It was all coming back to her in waves. "And when I walked into my apartment...the look on your face." Her voice cracks, and at the sound Dan stands up too. "Oh, _god _the look on your face_,_" she sobs.

"Blair..."

"I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry Dan. For everything. I shouldn't have gone with him. I don't know why I did. I didn't owe him anything. I was with _you._ I just—"

He walks up to her and cups her face with his hands. Thumbing her tears away, he nods. "I know," he soothes.

Her words tumble together with her tears. "I just...I just wanted to believe he could be _good_ for a change. That he could tell the truth. That I could _believe_ him. And I know I shouldn't have, I know that now—"

"I know you did," he assures, hoping she'll go quiet. But she keeps talking and his heart is breaking at her voice and _god_ she just won't stop talking and crying. He lowers his head to kiss away her tears and quickly moves from her cheek to her lips to stop her. He presses short, soft kisses to her mouth, one after another, and revels in the fact that she finally goes silent. He pushes her hair away from her face when he pulls back. His voice strong, he asks, "Did he hurt you?"

She shakes her head. "No," she answers immediately. "Not physically. You'd know if he did." She takes a moment to study his face. "Dan, he just touched my knee and kissed my neck. I didn't let him do anything further."

Relief fills him to the brim, not because he now knows she didn't cheat, but for the assurance that she wasn't hurt.

"Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know, I didn't know any of it." His eyes feel wet.

She looks up at him, cheeks red from crying and lips red from kissing and her eyes flash with hurt. She pushes his shoulders. "You _left_ me Dan! You left before I could explain myself! Before I could even tell you what happened!" she fumes, pointing her finger into his chest. She hastily wipes her eyes. "I know I made mistakes that night, _believe me_ I know. But you made the biggest one of all: You gave up on us. You gave up on _me_ and moved across the country." She grabs his lapels to push him away, but for some reason pulls him closer. _Wants_ him closer.

"I'm sorry, Blair. I'm so sorry I left without letting you explain." He shakes his head and brushes her cheek again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left."

"No, you shouldn't have," she whispers sadly, shaking her head. "I missed you. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," he says, pressing kisses to her wet cheek again in between repeating the words. "I..._miss_ you."

She bites her lip and looks up at him with those big brown eyes. "I miss _us_."

He presses a final kiss to her lips before they both step back. He rubs his forhead. "But I'm mad at us."

"So am I."

"I'm still mad at you."

She nods. "I'm still mad at _you_."

He lets out a long breath and paces back and forth. Blair watches his every move, unsure of what he's thinking, unsure of what's next, unsure of what to say.

"How about this," she begins after a long moment, "How about you go home and think. I'll stay _here_ and think. And then we'll meet up tomorrow when we're both ready. When we're ready to talk again. About what happened. About us." She walks over to the chair where he'd flung his coat and picks it up. "It's late, we're both tired, and I don't know what I'll say or do if you stay here. You're clouding my judgment."

He looks her over. All red-lipped and rosy-cheeked and _god_ that tantalizing dress that keeps tempting him to do things he probably shouldn't do to her and nods, fully agreeing with her plan. "Okay." He takes his jacket from her and slips it on.

"Call me tomorrow?" she asks, walking to open the door.

"Yeah."

After one last look at each other, he leaves. Locking the door and taking another breath to calm herself, Blair walks slowly to her bedroom, replaying their conversation in her mind. His smell lingers in the air and she gets an overwhelming feeling to bottle it up. Because she's still unsure of what will come of this all.

She's mad at him. She still _so very_ mad at him. But—even so—she wants to wrap herself in his chest and never let go.

Once in her room, she submits to the feeling of _him_ and puts on her favorite t-shirt of his that she kept. She washes her face, brushes her teeth, and shuts off her bedroom lights, more than ready to escape to sleep. Sliding into bed and under the covers, she shuts her achy eyes and feels relief that the day is over. She hasn't felt this emotionally spent since the night he left.

She's _almost_ asleep when she hears a knock. And then another and another. Drowsily, she slides out of bed and walks cautiously to the hallway.

When she opens the door and he sees her there, eyes still red and standing in his old NYU t-shirt he thought he lost, he's knows he's never been so sure of himself.

"There's nothing to think over."

Her heart starts to beat wildly. "What?" she asks, focusing on staying standing because her knees suddenly feel weak. She's wide awake now.

Walking into her apartment for the second time that night, he repeats himself. "There's nothing to think over."

The feeling that's being knotted deep inside her for three years uncoils at his words. Because the truth hits her. It suddenly hits her. "No," she agrees, shaking her head. There isn't _anything_ to think over.

Dan is walking towards her, and she's slowly walking backwards, and the only sounds in the air are their footsteps and breath. She meets his gaze and his eyes are somehow serious and genuine all at the same time. When her back hits the wall, he brings his hands up to hold her head. "You're it for me."

Warmth spreads through her bones.

"Yeah," she nods.

"I forgive you."

"Yeah," she nods again, incapable of saying anything else. She mouths the words back to him.

His fingers gently skim her skin. "I pick _you._"

"I pick you too."

His eyes scan her beautiful face. "I can't _not. _I've tried since I left New York. I've really tried. But you've somehow kept my heart hostage for the past three years, because no matter who I tried to move on with...they're just not you."

She nods again, still seemingly unable to do anything else. "You're it, Dan. You're mine."

He kisses her then, kisses her so intensely the world starts to blur and she's positively breathless. His lips are warm and familiar and when his tongue caresses her own she can't help but sigh into his mouth.

He pulls away and wraps his arms around her. Hugging her somehow makes this sink in. "I love you," he whispers into her neck. He feels her nod her head. "I _love _you, okay? Only you. With all my heart. I love you more than writing, and Brooklyn, and waffles, and Jenny, and my parents, and Addie, and Penny all combined."

Blair chokes out a watery laugh. She's crying again, but for happy reasons. "Really? More than Penny?" She brings her hands up to wrap around his neck and looks into his eyes. They give him away. They give away his honesty.

"Really," he says. "Pen's got nothin' on you."

She smiles and kisses his stubble, his chin, his cheek, his nose, raises on her tip-toes to reach his forehead, and then lowers herself to his lips. "I love you too. Oh, honey I love you so much."

Dan presses his mouth to hers again. "We're gonna make it, okay? We're stronger than this. We'll be okay." Another kiss. "We'll last. We're worth it. I won't give up. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not letting you go," she tells him, caressing his cheek. They can't stop touching each other. "You're stuck with me."

"I'm okay with that." He grins, and when he does his eyes crinkle in that way she adores. "Even if you do steal my t-shirts."

She smiles bashfully. "Good. Because you're not getting it back. I'll never take it off."

He tugs the worn, soft fabric and skates the skin of her hipbone with his fingers. "Not even just for tonight?" he teases, eyes darkening when she stifles a moan.

Sliding out of his grasp, she takes his hand and starts pulling him towards her bedroom. "I think I can make an exception."

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><p><strong>AN: This was pretty emotional for me to write. Because of the subject matter, but also because I was so happy to be writing again. I missed it. I'm graduating from college next weekend and so I've naturally been thinking over the past four years. Writing fanfiction became a way for me to de-stress, gave me an excuse to carve out time for myself, and became the creative outlet I so desperately needed in the thick of academia. I'm only now realizing the great value of what it did for me.**

**I'm so **_**so **_**sorry for the long wait. I hope this update was worth it. I'm planning on writing an epilogue, so there'll be one more chapter. **

**I'd love to know your thoughts!**


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